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What Impact Do Movies and Games Really Have on my Kids?

by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Jun 23, 2014 | Children, Choices

We grew up in the 80s and 90s. Watching movies all night at a sleep-over or playing video games in pajamas all day was/is normal. It is relaxing, entertaining, and engaging with others.

Robin’s Background
I grew up in a strict home. In fact, we didn’t have a television until I was around 18 years of age. We would rent TVs and movies every once in a while (during Olympics or World Cup). We went to maybe 3 or 4 movies at a theater while growing up.

Erica’s Background

I grew up with full access to the tv and video games most of the time. My first records (yes, record is correct) were Madonna (which accidentally got melted when I left it beside the oven) and Cyndi Lauper. My mom was pretty firm about us not watching soap operas, horror movies, and The Simpson’s. I am sure this provided a nice buffer from the really bad stuff. Right? The older I got, my dad would pick us up on the weekends and take us to the movies. I am pretty certain I saw most of the movies that came out in the late 80’s through the mid 90’s, not to mention the hours and hours we spent on the Nintendo playing Super Mario Brothers or Duck Hunt. Now you all have a clear picture of why I am so dysfunctional.

Now, we have been married for over 15 years and have three young kids. Our kids absolutely love movies and video games. As parents, we do too. However, we are now responsible for selecting and/or protecting our kids from the damaging effects of media. The question begs to be answered:

What impact do movies and video games really have on my kids? Is it “just a game” or “just a movie”?

Do we need to buckle down and restrict anything that vaguely looks violent, sexual, or profane? OR Should we allow media with different opinions help us grow and develop our world view and theology?

Ralph Waldo Emerson (who was a long way from being a Bible thumping Christian) once said, “A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will come out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping, we are becoming.”

Check out this information from the National Institution of Health:

Not all television programs are bad, but data showing the negative effects of exposure to violence, inappropriate sexuality and offensive language are convincing – American Academy of Pediatrics

The amount of violence on television is on the rise. The average child sees 12,000 violent acts on television annually, including many depictions of murder and rape. More than 1000 studies confirm that exposure to heavy doses of television violence increases aggressive behaviour, particularly in boys. Other studies link television or newspaper publicity of suicides to an increased suicide risk.

If you are interested, you can get all the sources for this data on the actual report, Click here.

Anything taken in, in large quantities, shapes who we are. We are feeding the flesh in us, either good or bad.

Jesus said, “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!” Matthew 6:22

Paul said, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Where do we draw the line?

There are some REALLY good rating systems out there that provide parents valuable information about movies and video games.

We hate hearing from parents that they had to turn a movie off or walk out of the theater. This is a waste of time and money. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE CAUGHT BY SURPRISE WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE IN THE THEATER OR AT HOME. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS ANY MORE. Really, there are no more excuses. You can take back the authority and guard your family from content that will lead them in the wrong direction.

Things we consider when picking out a movie or video game for our family:

Are there themes in the movie that we are not comfortable with? What world view is portrayed? What is the point of the narrative?
How much sexual content is in the movie? We are not interested in movies that portray immoral relationships. We don’t want to see nudity, making out, or anything beyond. Besides the negative message, the truth is that two actors are participating in physical activity that is not Biblical while shooting the movie or game.
What kind of violence is in the movie or game? Why is it violent?
What kind of profanity is used in the game or movie? We are not interested in hearing profanity.
Why are we watching this movie? Is it purely for entertainment value, or is it for educational value? Both? The answer to this question then directs us to slightly different standards.

We suggest that each family find a boundary that fits your family and stick with it. Erica and I use the resources below to pick out things for our family that are entertaining and wholesome. There is some really good content out there. You need to do some research first!

RESOURCES

Kids in Mind reviews ALL the movies released to the theater and tons of videos on DVD. It’s a great resource to find out how much sexual, violent, and profane content is in each movie. These reviews are specific/detailed without spoiling the plot of the movie.

ESRB Rating system for video games – like secular movie rating systems. It’s not perfect. Spiritual messages are not covered in ESRB.

PLUGGED IN – rates movies and games from a Christian moral standard. This site is good to get a gage on the overall theme and concept of the media.

APOLOMEDIA – in-depth blogs on specific video games and HOW TO set guidelines for your kids smartphone, XBOX and PS3.

It’s Not Just a Game (BOOK)- Can a game carry a spiritual message? What do video games have to say about God? The Bible? The Devil? And even Jesus? Isn’t it just a game? This book answers these questions and more.

Mama and The Monster

by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Jun 2, 2014 | Moms

Barbara Steele reading the Bible

One of mom’s greatest roles is to comfort in the middle of pain. Kids are constantly scared of the dark… especially thunderstorms. Robin’s dad, Rob Steele, is an incredible writer. The other day he posted this amazing story of his mom calming the storm.

Mama and the Monster!

Something was intruding on my dream; there were distant rumbles of thunder coming from an approaching storm, but that was not it. This was more of a high-pitched scritch, scitch, scriiiiitch that repeated itself every few minutes. My heart started pounding, and I knew it was happening again. SOMETHING was in the room. I could hear it shuffling over by Randy’s bed. There it came again, that scratching squeak like somebody dragging their nails over a chalkboard. I lay there frozen in fear of the unknown THING that was creeping up on my bed ever so slowly. Just then the lightning cracked, and I saw very clearly outlined, a weird shadow of the beast that had come to get me.

This wasn’t the first time that this had happened. Usually if I called for Mama, she came and made all the bad stuff go away. This time my little 5-year-old mind had conjured up a monster that was so evil and big I knew there was only a few seconds left before it got me. I sucked in a lungful of air and gave out a piercing shriek for Mama that let everybody in the family know about the monster. Daddy even knew about it and came flying into the room ready for combat. Mama was right behind him, and when she saw I was not being dismembered or being dragged out the window by the thing, she told Daddy to go back to bed.

Kennady Told the Therapist, “Bye!”

by robinsteele1@gmail.com | May 26, 2014 | Children, random life

When does every word matter? When things have been really quiet, each new word seems to carry much more deep meaning. Our daughter, Kennady was born with a severe brain abnormality and has significant development delay. One of her major set backs is not being able to verbally communicate. If you haven’t heard that story, you can get more info here. How frustrating it must be to have something to say and no way to say it!

Some of her amazing teachers from Negley Elementary

Her amazing teachers at school have been working with her for a long time with an augmentative communication device. Basically, a computer mounts onto her wheelchair with a large screen. She has switches mounted to each side of her head rest. She is able to click the switches by moving her head from side to side. She can toggle through different word choices with one switch and then select and “say” the word through the computer. She struggles moving her head because of her lack of muscle control. This means when she clicks on words to say them we often wonder if she is actually meaning to say the word or not.

A few weeks back, she was in the middle of therapy at school and was getting tired. She began to fuss at the therapist by whining and crying. Her nurse, Kimberly, positioned herself directly in Kennady’s face and said, “Kennady, it would be much easier for you to use your device and tell the therapist that you are done.” Then, Kennady used her head to click the command and the computer said, “Bye!”

The Faith of a Tween-Ager!

by robinsteele1@gmail.com | May 19, 2014 | Children, Moms

The Bollingers! (a while back)

Jason and Holly Bollinger are amazing parents and pastors. For the last several years Erica and I have grown very close to them as we have pastored side-by-side in San Marcos, TX. We are a bit sad because they will be moving and we won’t see them as much. We asked them to send us a post for our blog. Here are Holly’s thoughts:

THE FAITH OF A TWEEN-AGER!

Every once in a while in parenting, you are caught off guard by your kid doing something that seems to fill your soul. I know some people really enjoy the baby years with their kids, but I find my kids to surprise me more and more with the soul-filling as they get older.

We have three tween-agers. Our house is rich with drama, puberty, volume, and opinions. Our house is also rich with three kids of ministers trying to find their way into their own faith. We try to protect our kids from feeling like Pastor’s kids, but we do our best to equip and encourage them into a faith journey of their own. Some of the greatest joys come from watching them work this out. More and more one of them will pray a prayer that brings tears to our eyes. More and more they’re seeing ways to love others well. It’s refreshing to watch them grow…not because they were forced or assigned, but because they want to.

As tween-agers, Sundays can be challenging. Some days they relate more to the younger kids and play with them, and some days that act more like teenagers and have an actual interest in what’s going on. We try to give them room to play while trying to lead them to a greater appreciation of what’s happening around them. All of our kids really love music, but at a party after church a while back one of them pulled me aside. “Daddy, when you and Mommy were singing that song, I felt tears come to my eyes and I felt something inside of me. I felt the Spirit coming over me.”

Four Ways to Honor Mom!

by robinsteele1@gmail.com | May 10, 2014 | Moms

Erica, her Mom, and brother

Our culture is missing honor. We are so preoccupied with our own progress and contentment, we often forget respect and honor. Although honor is missing in our culture, it is a fundamental part of the Bible. The biggest text on honoring Mom is:

“Exodus 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

If your mother is still alive, regardless of your and her ages, you can HONOR her in these 4 ways. If your mom is no longer living, then pass the love on to another one! Feel free to borrow our moms.

1. HONOR HER WITH YOUR WORDS

Men have the philosophy—“I don’t have to say ‘I love you’, you already know it. I have told you before, if I change my mind I’ll let you know!” Or, “I SHOW love, not just say it”

That may be true, but moms need to hear the words, “I Love You!” Children need to hear it. Saying it makes you more of a man, not less!

We have been intentional with making verbal affirmation statements a part of our family culture.

My Favorite Part of the Day (lately)

by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Mar 5, 2014 | Children, random life, Video

book reading often happens in this sweet spot

Lately, my (Robin) favorite part of the day is the sweet spot right before the kids get in bed and right after the bedtime preparations have been made. The bedtime preparations part is usually BRUTAL. Homework done, dinner, Baths, PJs, brushing teeth, meds. That can often be like fighting dinosaurs. We have been trying to get that done a little earlier so that we have a few minutes before the kids actually crawl into the bed.

The kids have their pajamas on, their breath is fresh, they are getting sleepy.

This past Christmas, Erica and I casually got them an indoor basketball hoop. Little did we know how BIG of a success that would be. It easily is the favorite and most used gift of the year. We spend some quality time at the hoop each night before they are tucked in.

Here is a clip of me teaching Jude how to post up. If you are an actual basketball player, please keep in mind that I am 5’7″ and have actually never posted up on anyone myself. Jude will need some more accurate training at some point.

How Your Family Can Survive a Texas Winter

by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Feb 28, 2014 | random life

Wow! This Texas Winter saw three major weather experiences. School was called off twice for hazardous conditions! In the event this happens again, we all need a good lesson on how to survive this type of wintery onslaught.

Normally, our temps are in the 50s-70s in the winter. However, in a year like this one you will see the thermometer plummet to 30 or even 25! Add to that, precipitation and you have a deadly mix!

1. Dress Appropriately

Quit wearing tank tops and complaining about how cold it is. Seriously, you need to buy a couple sweaters and a ski coat. Or a parka. Wear socks every once in a while. I know that 10 months out of the year this is appropriate clothing. However, when we face blustery conditions, it is imperative to clothe yourself properly.

See the pics below. This might or might not have been me with Erica. A great solution for night-time clothing around the house. Hey! Don’t judge. We were warm and we slid around the kitchen.

2. Stay at Home and do Really Stupid Things

We have all watched movies of people who live in the north and actually have seen snow. Real snow. So imitate them! Find all the tools you can like spatulas, laundry baskets, butter knives, etc. Start scraping, digging, and clawing at all the accumulations around the yard. Don’t forget to find the deposits on the car too! In the pic below, look at the snow on the slide in the back yard. It was a goldmine! We immediately scooped it up and put it in the freezer. It was too special to waste. We wanted to keep it in the freezer so that we could take it out in July and reminisce about the hard winter of ’14.

: View from Our Bedroom Window

In the winter of 2011, we had an actual accumulation of 2 inches. So, I strapped on the skis and went down the irrigation ditch (black diamond). It was about a 17′ vertical drop. The neighbors were pumped! We were all off school and work so there wasn’t anything else to do, but act crazy. Check out the Video!

3. Enjoy Family

Honestly, it is a wonderful time to forget about work, responsibility, problems in the world and get lost in quality family time. Build a fire. Play some games. Put a puzzle together. Watch a movie marathon. WARNING: don’t forget to watch the forecast and go to HEB (Texas grocery store) and clean out their munchies BEFORE the storm hits! You won’t be able to travel the roads afterwards. Remember there is black ice out there!! There are patches on bridges that haven’t been sanded.

I Didn’t Want to Get Out of Bed

by pastorrobin | Feb 5, 2014 | How to deal with pain

Don’t you hate it when you get stressed out on your day off? Seems like such a waste.

I (Robin) have found that the stillness or lack of work often makes us feel the true condition of our heart and mind. We do not have the busyness to distract us and mask the pain.

On a Friday morning awhile back (I take Fridays off), I began to feel the pressure of anxiety creep into my consciousness. It wasn’t linked to specific thoughts or pressures of life. It was just a dull roar in the depths of my spirit. Why? I began to ask myself, “What did I leave unaccomplished this week?” Maybe I was getting stressed because I forgot something. Maybe I did something wrong or maybe I didn’t finish something successfully. What was left to accomplish before Sunday? Maybe I needed to ‘get something done’ before our services on Sunday. Is someone mad at me and I need to resolve it? I began to focus on the mystery and try to figure it out. Thinking that if I could just resolve the issue, then everything would be at peace. All these thoughts came before my feet hit the floor. I had only been awake about 30 seconds. So this is what I did…

Don’t mess with Erica…no matter who you are…

by pastorrobin | Jan 13, 2014 | random life

Erica strikes again! Well, thankfully she didn’t literally strike. I might be visiting her in jail if that were the case. Anyway, we drove up to Kennady’s school a while back to drop her off and there was a police car parked illegally. He was not just in the handicapped spot but in the striped, unloading part of the space. (we require this striped part since we have a ramp) So what does she do? She marches into the school to find the officer.

To make a long story semi-short…he finally walks out of the building and Erica confronts him on the sidewalk. She explains the dilemma of daily needing the spot and people are illegally parked there. Then to come and the people that are supposed to help you are parked in the same spot! He is embarrassed and promises to help out.

Moral of the story: don’t park illegally in handicapped spaces and don’t mess with Erica!

A HUGE Day of Celebration!

by pastorrobin | Jan 9, 2014 | Children, random life

Today (Jan 9), we celebrate 15 years of marriage. Wow! Where have the years gone?? Take a look at these stats.

Our Marriage by the numbers:

7 different homes in 2 states
2 home purchases/1 home sale
13 different jobs
3 kids
9 foster kids
3 dogs
4 cats
25 fish
20+ chickens
11 cars
3 churches
0 cheatin’!
innumerable friends

Erica’s Version of the Wedding:

Our wedding day WAS amazing, however, I was 20 years old and wayyyyyy too concerned about what other people thought about how I “should” be at my wedding.

As you all know, if you have been reading this blog very long, I still greatly struggle with this and try to conform to each persons specific likes.

My sister-in-law almost beat me with a can of Static Guard, after I requested she spray my wedding dress for the 60th time.

Honestly, I could hardly think for having so much attention focused right on the two of us.

When I finally got to the altar and was holding Robin’s hands, that is the moment I really settled in and was struck by how incredible it was that I was actually marrying this wonderful man.

We had so many people there to support us.

There were things that went totally opposite of what we had planned, like my cake having flowers on the cake instead of between the layers! UHHH, HELLOOO people, I almost turned into bridezilla, well, not really, but I was seriously bummed.

Driving away in the limo was awesome and surreal, I could hardly believe I was married.

Such a happy day!

Robin’s Version of the wedding:
Our wedding day was amazing. It was huge. Over 300 folks attended our ceremony and reception that followed at the church. At the time, I was youth pastor at PromiseLand Church in Austin, TX. So, many folks from the church came and we both have very large families. We had a ton of friends and family donate their money and time to decorate the sanctuary and reception area. It was all absolutely beautiful and we are extremely grateful to them all for an amazing wedding. We left that night for Denver. We spent a week skiing and eating awesome food at Breckenridge, Colorado. Several years back, we made a new wedding ring commitment (click for details). I LOVE you, Erica!