I (Robin) just committed to being the soccer coach for my son’s team. It’s going to be a lot of fun, but I’m going to spend a lot of time doing it.
Spending time. That term says a lot. Spending time like spending money costs us something. There is an investment of energy, focus, minutes. It means that something else won’t get done. Something else will have to wait. Is that worth it? What is more important? What should we do first?
A couple of weeks ago we were planning to go to a friend’s wedding in Waco, TX (a couple hours north of San Marcos). It was the last week of summer, so we decided to make a very-mini vacation out of it and have some fun along the way. We looked up a movie to see and potential museums in Waco (no, we didn’t look for the David Koresh museum).
Thursday, the day before we were to leave Erica said, “I think our minivan is having problems with over heating.” That’s never a good conversation. I woke up early on Friday and drove the van over to a local mechanic. He said, “You have a severe leak in this part of your van. We need to order the part and install it later today.” The only problem is that we were supposed to leave at 11am. What do we do?
We had 2 other vehicle options: my Ford F150 and my mom’s little Honda hatchback. Keep in mind, we have a daughter in a wheelchair (that weighs around 100lbs). There was no way that our van was going to be ready in time for us to leave. There was no way that the Honda would fit our family and the huge wheel chair. Our only option was to take Kennady out of her chair and put her in a special oversized car seat. Then, we would load the massive/awkward chair in the back of the truck. She is 12yrs old at this point and around 70lbs. She doesn’t bend real well because of her muscle stiffness. All that to say, it would cost us a lot of energy and time each stop we made.
What were we going to do?
Spend some quality time with our family!!
We went for it.
We loaded the truck and took off for Waco.
We found a movie showing for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
We got to the theater extra early and let the boys spend $4 in quarters on one really bad arcade game. That was a huge highlight for them. We are usually so tight with our money that this felt like a huge spending spree.
The kids LOVED the movie. Erica thought it was awful. I thought it was fun. It was a almost too violent for us, but was within reason for our family. We had looked it up on KidsInMind and felt good with the review.
After the movie, Avery gave us a presentation on his Heelys. These are the hottest thing for 6-10yr olds these days. Move over figure skaters!! Check out his skills.
Finally, we headed out to the wedding. We looked up the address on Google Maps. The address it showed on the map looked too far away from where we thought the wedding should take place, but we decided to trust it. Wrong idea.
It took us 45min out of the way and by the time we got back on course, WE MISSED THE WEDDING. However, we showed up right as the party was kicking off. It was so fun to hang out with these folks. They have unique wedding traditions. We enjoyed the conversations that followed and the delicious food we ate.
All in all, the investment of time and money was WORTH the quality family experience we had. We made memories in the midst of the sacrifice and sweat. Fun times!
In 2007, we were living in a 100 year old farmhouse. It was situated on a 130 acre farm north west of Lockhart, Texas. There were beautiful rolling hills, clusters of mesquite and Spanish oaks, hay fields and a handful of cattle to keep things interesting. We were renting the house from some close friends who had owned the farm for a few years. Our kids absolutely loved roaming the fields and fishing in the bass ponds. They are amazing on bikes now because they learned how to ride on bumpy dirt roads.
Jude watering the front yard. Barn in background was originally built in 1903.
Working our first garden. Jude quite possibly eating dirt.
A whole lot of that life felt like we were living back in time. The house was fully remodeled, but creaked and shifted all the time. We loved sitting on the porch in the evenings and watching the sun go down. We often would watch huge thunderheads form over the fields and bring much needed rain to the hay fields. As we sat on the front porch and the wind breathed on our face, our minds would wander back to the folks who settled the frontier over a century ago. They saw the same hills, animals, and sunsets. There wasn’t a whole lot that separated us from them. Of course, then we would flip on a light or turn on the ceiling fan, launching us back into the 21st century. Erica loved living out there and started to channel her inner organic, sustainable living self. “We need to get some chickens and eat eggs from free range chickens. The poor chickens we get eggs from are shot up with all kinds of hormones.” I’m the typical American man. I said, “What will they taste like? If the chickens get exercise every day will they taste better? I’ve heard if chickens are able to eat from the yard, then the eggs taste nasty.”
A couple weeks later, I was building a chicken coop. That is usually how discussions go in our house. Erica has an idea. I don’t understand it and don’t really see the need in changing or fighting the standard way of thinking. She has read a blog or seen a documentary on Netflix. That means we need to change our life. After a few weeks of “discussions” I go along with it.
Our plan was to get six or eight chickens after I built the coop. I come from a long line of carpenters. If I am going to build a coop, it is not going to be some little crappy shed. We are going to have the best looking and operational coop this side of the Mississippi! I grabbed draft paper, pencils, rulers and started the blueprints for our chicken coop. This was going to be epic. We picked out a bright red for the walls and bright white for the trim. There would be an enclosed yard with a two-story coop with doors to lock the chickens in. We would place small hinged doors on the outside of each chicken bay so that we could reach in and grab the eggs each morning. It took me around a week to complete the chicken mansion. I was proud.
Structure is up! Still need finishing touches and paint.
Tired. Laying down on the job. Showing the roominess!
We took the forty-five minute trek to Seguin and selected the finest chicks we could find. They were cute and vulnerable. We really didn’t know what we were doing. We weren’t sure how long it would be before we were going to start harvesting our delicious organic, free range, hormone free, eggs (that were not going to taste gross). We would let the chickens out in the morning and then open the door for them to enter at night. Sometimes, they would simply go in without drama. Other nights they were down right rebellious. I would try to round them up. Rounding up chickens…yeah not a good idea.
Check out these videos of us trying to get the chickens back in the coop! This was early on (rookies) If you are reading this post via email and videos aren’t available, you can click here to see them.
After a couple of months, we started to gather eggs. Honestly, they tasted really good. The shells were so strong. You could literally drop them on the ground and they wouldn’t break. They would last a really long time before going bad. In fact, we never really found any bad eggs. We would give some away when they would produce more than we could eat. Overall, it was not a big hassle. We would need to feed them daily, check their water, collect eggs. We would clean out the coop every month or so.
The biggest challenge was all of the other creatures on the farm that wanted eggs. Who knew that opossums, raccoons, hawks, coyotes, rats, and snakes liked fresh, organic, free range, hormone free eggs as well. They actually liked eating fresh chicken also. We were constantly fending off the predators. These animals would dig holes under the coop. They would tear the wire off the frame. They could pry the door open. Sometimes, we would hear the noise, run out, and deal with the commotion. I would go out at night with a shotgun and scare off the ‘possums. I might have thinned out the population a little bit. Other times, we would not be at home or the attack was stealthy. We would come out the next day to find no eggs, a dead chicken, or even a missing chicken. Those were sad days. We would have a little memorial service with our 1yr and 3yr old boys. They were learning the way of life on the farm. The circle of life.
One night we were putting the dishes up after dinner when we heard a large commotion out in the coop. The chickens were riled up. Really upset. They were calling for Erica to come help them out…please! Erica grabbed a flashlight and headed out to the coop. It took a couple minutes to get out there in the dark. When she arrived on the scene, she flashed the light around the coop to determine what the problem was. There was nothing outside of the coop, so she walked into the fenced area. She needed a better angle to see inside the coop where the chickens were bawking up a storm. Once she flashed the light inside, she saw a large black snake in the coop with a egg in its mouth!
“Oh, h@## no!!” thought Erica as she opened the small door to the coop. She reached in the coop with her flashlight and started beating the snake on the head. I’m not sure what the snake thought at that moment, but one thing was for sure. He had met his match and realized that releasing the egg and leaving the coop was a much better than getting beat in the head by this crazy monster. The snake spit the egg out of his mouth and slithered out of the coop. Erica harvested the egg, caressed the chickens and reassured them that they were her special babies. Just call out and we will come to the rescue.
The next day we ate the egg.
Wow! A lot has changed in the last 5 years. We now live in a suburban neighborhood and buy our eggs from the local grocery store. There are a lot of things about the farm that we miss. There are a lot of things about our new home that are incredible. It’s interesting how life changes drastically and we find the resiliency to thrive through the Grace of God, friends, and a little determination (beating a snake with a flashlight).
Our boys are riding their bikes to school on Monday. They will walk into third and fifth grade. Kennady will be taking the bus to 7th grade (Simon Junior High). It is here already. We have so many questions as this day approaches.
Did we maximize the summer?
Did we do enough fun stuff?
Did we waste the time off?
I have an interesting idea: We should be more “summer-like” all year ’round.
You should really be more unproductive on a regular basis.
I feel confident in saying that to 99% of Americans. At least, you should try to be unproductive. I think sometimes we try so hard to be productive that we end up burning out and not being productive at all.
God was rolling along, creating things, saying they were good when, after 6 days, he stops and decides to do nothing productive. He rested. Then, when the law was being given to his people, he makes one of the big ten laws, “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” Exodus 20:8
It must be a pretty big deal if it made the top ten list.
I always thought that keeping the Sabbath meant that I was supposed to go to church every Sunday. It was like, “Remember to go to church every Sunday and don’t forget it! Make sure you go!” However, the Sabbath is more and better than simply going to church every weekend. It can and should include gathering with other believers to worship God, but it will include other ‘non’-activities.
Here is my take: “Remembering the Sabbath, to keep it holy” means: Don’t forget to keep one seventh of your life unproductive. One day a week, intentionally do nothing that is of productive value. By resting one day of the week, you are communicating to God that you do not believe you are the source of accomplishment in your life. You are worshipping God by saying, “I trust that you are in control of everything. I have worked hard this week and now can confidently rest because I believe/trust that you, Jesus, are in ultimate control. All the loose ends from my task list are not going to sink my job, me, or the world. I can be unproductive today because your word says,
“…there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world.” Hebrews 4
Last week, I went on a cruise with around 30 other folks from our church. The second day on the boat, we all gathered in a room for a group meeting. They weren’t sure what to expect. Was I going to preach, teach, have an altar call? (Maybe I should have after Karaoke the night before.) We all sat down and I led them in a short discussion about doing nothing on the boat all week. I told them that I didn’t want them to even think about anything productive. Don’t read a book unless it is for fun, don’t write notes for when you get back on land, don’t do work on the laptop, try your hardest to do…nothing. Nothing but have a good time. We were going to rest. We were going to remember a Sabbath to keep it holy.
I told them that when we left the boat we were going to be spiritually and emotionally higher than when we got on the boat. We were going to be more spiritually healthy. (Probably not physically healthy because we were going to eat around 10,000 calories a day). We were going to be stronger when we left. Not because we had an encounter or specific moment on the cruise, but because we were being obedient and faithful to God by….doing nothing productive. Resting. Trusting that God had everything under control back on land.
As Americans we aren’t conditioned to think this way. We are geared to produce at any expense. We are trying to eliminate all angles that slow us down or hinder growth. We are wired to never take a break. Elizabeth was on the boat with us. She was so relieved to hear the message that day. She told me, “I am always trying to find ways to be productive while I’m resting. I feel guilty simply doing nothing and feel like I am expected to always be productive.”
Two lumberjacks were in competition for several hours. They were trying to see who could chop the most wood. One relentlessly chopped without a break. The other took breaks every thirty minutes. The one who took breaks won. When asked how he won while taking breaks, he said, “Every time I took a break, I sharpened my axe.”
While we were on the boat, I challenged our people to think about sharpening their axe. Every time the temptation came to disobey God (and be productive) use that as an opportunity to say a short prayer. Those are testing moments. Do I trust God’s plan of rest? Do I trust his reward of obedience. Work hard for 6/7ths of your life and then rest hard for 1/7th of your life. Instead of being so balanced that you are always trying to work and always trying to rest, think of it being more of a pendulum. When it is time to work, give it all you got. Then, when it is time to rest, give it all you got.
Go sharpen your axe!
What has your rest been like lately?
Do you struggle to find rest?
What do you do to make sure you are following God’s plan for a regular Sabbath?
One night when Kennady was in the hospital, Kennady’s home health nurse came up and sat with her so I (Erica) could go out get some dinner and feel the sun on my skin. On my way out, I decided to step in to the gift shop because they had these big shiny red balloons that said “SALE”, which is an instant magnet for most women.
I proceeded to call my husband and tell him that this store had a very cute necklace and that it was thirty percent off, which made it only a mere thirteen dollars, and that seeing as we are in such a stressful time I should really do some sympathy shopping and buy this for myself.
Alas, this ploy did not work and I made myself leave the store empty-handed, content that I could use my money to buy myself food to put in my belly instead.
On my way out the door, there stood sweet Jesse. Jesse gave birth to her precious baby boy Wyatt, and her second child with Cystic Fibrosis, just a little over two weeks ago. She was on her way in to see Wyatt in the NICU and I was on my way out to get something to eat.
We stopped and chatted for a while and began to discuss our children and their special needs and how living a life with a special needs child shapes you in so many ways you never realized it would or could.
One of the ways that this life is shaping us, is through us shaping our children and the next generation.
Robin and I feel strongly that the challenges we and our children face in this life will build our character and make us stronger, if we allow it.
Character: 1 one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish the individual 2 the detectable expression of the action of a gene or group of genes 3 the complex of mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person, group, or nation
Wheew! That is a lot of things to cover, but we will focus on just one point this time around. Character: One of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish the individual.
Character traits can be good or bad, strong or weak, life-giving for life-taking.
Our boys both have a sister with multiple special needs, food allergies and last but not least, they are preacher kids (holla back atcha if you know what I mean).
We got to the theater extra early and let the boys spend $4 in quarters on one really bad arcade game. That was a huge highlight for them. We are usually so tight with our money that this felt like a huge spending spree.
It took us 45min out of the way and by the time we got back on course, WE MISSED THE WEDDING. However, we showed up right as the party was kicking off. It was so fun to hang out with these folks. They have unique wedding traditions. We enjoyed the conversations that followed and the delicious food we ate.
God was rolling along, creating things, saying they were good when, after 6 days, he stops and decides to do nothing productive. He rested. Then, when the law was being given to his people, he makes one of the big ten laws, “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” Exodus 20:8
While we were on the boat, I challenged our people to think about sharpening their axe. Every time the temptation came to disobey God (and be productive) use that as an opportunity to say a short prayer. Those are testing moments. Do I trust God’s plan of rest? Do I trust his reward of obedience. Work hard for 6/7ths of your life and then rest hard for 1/7th of your life. Instead of being so balanced that you are always trying to work and always trying to rest, think of it being more of a pendulum. When it is time to work, give it all you got. Then, when it is time to rest, give it all you got.
Robin and I feel strongly that the challenges we and our children face in this life will build our character and make us stronger, if we allow it.
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