“Well, she didn’t really ‘graduate’,” he replied with a smirk.
That was the phrase that brought our graduation celebration to an abrupt halt. Literally, brought us to tears and anger. It came from a close family member while telling him about Kennady’s latest miracle of going through 15 years of the public school system. Life is hard enough without words (from family members) making it harder. Yes, we know that she didn’t get a 4.0. Yes, we know that she didn’t get first chair in the band. She actually failed at accomplishing many of the goals we set in all of those ARD meetings. What does all of that mean?
The main issue with these words is that they tie directly back to the words of the doctor a few days after Kennady was born. The doctor’s words were, “their daughter will not have a meaningful life.” This recent proclamation was, “she didn’t really graduate.” What this really says is, “Her finishing school doesn’t really matter.” or “She didn’t really do anything.” DUH! Do we really need to hear that? As parents, we are actually experts on every detail of Kennady’s life. We know exactly what she does or does not do.
I’m sure that everyone reading this blog will jump to our defense and say that these statements are harsh. We love that you will support us in this moment. We do benefit from your affirmation.
But… let’s stop for a second and look deeper below the surface…
The doctor should not have used those words right after birth. This family member should not have used these words last week. However, both are a symbol of how humans view what matters. These words show something that we all wrestle with internally. How will I matter? How can my life mean something? What do I actually have to do to have other people say that I matter? The answer: It depends on who you ask. The answer is subject to who is answering… who is saying the words.
Who is saying the words? Whose words mean the most?
It is really tough when the words come so fast and so often from people we are supposed to trust (doctors) and respect (family). Yet, we still have a choice. When people’s words anger, sadden, or confuse us, we have to choose if we will receive and believe them. We are faced with the brutal process of fighting through the emotion and finding the truth. Are the words true? Sometimes tough words are true and we must accept them.
However, we often accept lies. We hear them, believe them, and live our life based on them. The only way to pierce that darkness is with a sword. There is a sword available that is super sharp, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. The sword is THE Word. (Hebrews 4:11-12 NLT)
The only way to combat ugly words is with THE Word. The Bible says that “the Word” has existed from the very beginning, nothing was created except through him. The Word gives LIFE and LIGHT to everything and everyone. The Word brings light in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it. (John 1:1-5 NLT)
The Word that the Bible talks about includes the words of the actual Bible, but The Word is more than that. The Word is Jesus. Reading and meditating on the words of the Bible introduces us to the author. The Word is eternal and absolute. We can stand on this firm foundation. We hide under him. We can weather the storm with him. If things in this life are troubling and seemingly impossible, his Word will be the final word.
Who do you know that needs The Word today? Not a word that will judge or condemn, but a word that will bring light and life. Let’s pray for them. Let’s listen to them. Let’s hold them.
Let’s BE THE Word that they need to hear. Let our words heal.
Well spoken friend. I think everyone should remember that we are Human BE ings, not Human DO ings. To be, is to reflect the face of God. Our children do that in every fiber of their Be ing. Congratulations on her graduation!!
Exactly! Thank you!
❤
Harsh words have been the main source of my insecurities. However, I learned to ignore those harsh words people used to associate me with. I then took on the words that God called me to be. Blessed, beloved, the apple of his eye, strong, a royal priesthood, and ultimately “His”. The minute I focused one what God called me and not the horrible words my fellow youth group members called me, I was able to move and do what God called me to do without worry of what “others” had to say.
Love you, Tim. Thanks for posting this.
I don’t need to jump to your defense (although I gladly would). This is what I will say…. I have watched Kennady for the past 18 years. She has been an example of God’s love and joy many times ….. often more than I have. By the way I have really graduated three times with three degrees but I’m still learning from both Kennady AND her family! ❤️
Move back to Texas. 🙂
We all have said things that may of been hurtful to others. No matter how many apologies you hear, it never really heals the hurtful words. And you are so right. It is solely through the Word of God that you are able to forgive inorder to heal. In ready this, once again Kennady teaches me something….. It doesn’t matter others opinion of accomplishment. She did it! She pushed through and accomplished all her tasked she encountered. What honor it was to recieve her recognition as a 2020 Graduate by such a loving and proud Father.
We love you so much, Rachel!
Well, I’ve cried through the Facebook message and the blog post! So thankful for the Word! I need it daily! ❤️
We are in this together. Thank you for crying with us. We trust THE WORD.
I am wondering if y’all were in Lockhart ISD when Kennedy was younger. I subbed a lot in the PPCD classroom and spent many days in her (if this is indeed the same Kennedy)presence. After that I got a job at Clear Fork Elementary. She and my daughter are the same age. Kennedy was in my daughter’s general ed classroom several years in a row. She cried when Kennedy moved away and still often will speak of her and wonder how she is. Prayers for your family!
Yes! We were in Carver and then switched to Clearfork! It is so good to hear from you. Please let her know that Kennady is doing GREAT.
I will! I learned so much from being around Kennady! I’m so proud of her!
Wow. What a beautiful post. I think every day is a win! Y’all are the most amazing parents! every single day that is good or hard that we (as special needs parents) learn from is a win and a lil graduation to the next thing! How beautiful that she graduated and got to have a celebration!! Y’all are amazing! Jesus is amazing for creating such a beautiful Kennedy ♥️ Thank y’all for sharing your hearts.
What a wonderful accomplishment to celebrate and what a meaningful life she is living! Thank you for sharing it so openly for others to experience.
Beautifully shared, Robin, thank you. Let’s “be the Word” indeed.
Sorry that happened. Thankful you wrote about it. Way to go Kennady!!! Celebrating you!! You are a such a special person. Thanks for sharing Dad and Mom.
The Word is strong and mighty. He is in control.
Words can really show you the heart of a person and they can be very damaging so thank you for sharing & reminding us who writes our story, who determines our purpose & value. In the moment of things/pain we can forget that truth! Love you guys!
I believe God sends us special need people to show us and teach us many lessons. Here a a few that I’ve witnessed, and I’m no expert like you and Erica are, Robin:
joy caused by pure things, not material things; how it looks to have no worldly worries; to completely trust God and His people that He gave you in your life. I know that Kennedy has been a light to many many people, blessed enough to know her.
Kennedy is being The Word, without saying a word.