I (Erica) took a little trip, two weeks ago, to get some downtime for myself. 
It was overdue.  Robin and I talked about me leaving for a few days, to which I said, “I need to get out of here and not have anyone ask me for anything!”, to which he said, “You don’t have to act like you don’t like us!”

I LOVE my family.  They are MY people, they see me at my worst and love me still.  We trust each other, celebrate each other, cry with each other….but we also need our time alone.

So, I concocted a plan on Saturday, made reservations at an air b-n-b for Monday night, and took off driving, to the beautiful state of New Mexico. 

I didn’t have much of a plan except for leaving town, eating, driving, and sleeping.  I arrived in the quaint town of Taos, NM Monday night just as the sun was setting on the mesa. 

It was beautiful. ..The cool breeze… dry mountain air…and slow pace. 

I woke up Tuesday morning and decided to take a little road trip to see our first home we ever purchased (in Questa – 20 miles north of Taos).  It was so sweet and nostalgic taking a drive down memory lane.  Robin and I spent our first couple of years as newlyweds in the mountains, teaching ski school, working desk jobs, being a line cook, detailing cars, all while eating pizza and playing video games.  It was a magical time for us.

That afternoon I headed up to Taos Ski Valley to eat a burger at Tim’s, and hike up to Williams Lake. 

The weather was perfect and the mountains were stunning.  I got my belly full and started my short 2 mile hike up the trail. 

It was about the time I got to the trailhead and saw the signs “Do NOT FEED the wildlife”, which indicated that there may be bear, mountain lions, or other small animals, that I was reminded of my irrational fear of being eaten by a bear. 

Now, you may laugh at this, but it is true.  I am a healing hypochondriac, as well as someone who has an overactive imagination about animals desiring to attack me…and then eat me.

Meanwhile on Instagram, with no-one able to read my internal thoughts, and only able to see the beautiful, fun pictures I was posting. I was having discussions with myself about how I would fight off any animal that may come at me with my pepper spray and banging my metal water bottle (likely, while running downhill screaming).  I am sure the pictures made it look like I didn’t have a care in the world! 

Here I am hiking up the trail, and with each person I pass I am so thankful that not one is telling me there is a bear up ahead! (or running downhill screaming that they are being chased by a bear.)  This was encouraging!

About half way up the trail I realize that I have not quite acclimated to the altitude.  This “quick” two mile hike was going to take longer, and require more effort than I imagined.  I would hike a bit, then stop and take a drink of water and catch my breath.  I pretended that I wasn’t about to pass out, as friendly hikers walked by.

As the hike went on, the number of hikers was decreasing and I kept thinking I was almost to the lake. Maybe I would actually make it!  So I began to pray “Lord, just let me see one more person (bear bait)”, and sure enough, here would come one or two more people!

Finally, as I was sure I was almost to the lake, I saw two people coming toward me and asked them casually, “The lake isn’t too much farther, is it?” (PLEASE, LORD, let it be close).  They said “It’s only about 10-15 minutes up ahead”….. OH!  GREAT!  Just 10-15 minutes MORE of being potential bear bait! 

Throughout my hike I would constantly speak truth to my fear, by stating that “bear attacks are rare…mountain lion attacks are rare”, “animals are more afraid of us, than we are of them”, “Jennifer Pharr -Davis has hiked thousands and thousands of miles ALONE and not been attacked, so surely I will be fine!”

I finally made it to the lake, admiring the scenery and taking a quick selfie, then saying to myself, “Did that! Check!  And, I didn’t even see one bear!… yet…”

I stood for a few minutes taking in the beauty, then spotted a family hiking and thought, “OK, I don’t want to be behind them on the trail, so I will head back down, plus, they will make good bear bait!” (horrible, I know)

As I headed back down the mountain, I was reminded of the truth of my faith journey:  The truth that if this life is not the end, then a bear attacking me and potentially ending my life… is not the end. 

In the Bible, there are so many stories of God’s people forgetting what he has done for them, and what God promises he will do.  In Exodus 11:7, God tells of delivering his people from slavery.  He went so far as to silence every dog in Egypt.  This kept coming to mind as I was walking. 

God is concerned about every detail of our life. 

In my morning devotional by Paul David Tripp,  “New Morning Mercies”, he says, “In the life of the believer, fear of weakness amounts to God-forgetfulness.  Timidity is a failure to remember the promises of the gospel…Giving way to temptation is overlooking the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  How powerful is God!  His presence transforms our lives!  Each time I was afraid on my hike, I would speak truth, but it wasn’t until I began the hike down, that the gospel began to settle in my heart. 

As I hiked down the trail, I took my time and really focused on the truth that God was here in that moment with me, that he was indeed over every moment, and that I could rest in THAT. 

I got almost all the way down the mountain and stopped at a beautiful roaring stream. 

I decided to sit down and pull out my book to read for a bit.  It was such a blissfully peaceful moment. 

My fears were laid down in trust, and the peace came to just enjoy what all was surrounding me. 

After reading for a bit, I packed up and headed back to my quiet air b-n-b, exhausted and ready for bed. 

Ceiling at my BNB!

This day for me was so good.  It was a reminder to not live life bound by fear of the “what if’s”, and to rest in the gospel…pure and simple. 

If I had listened to the fear in my mind, I never would have left the comfort of my vehicle or a safe restaurant to enjoy the nature that is so deeply renewing for me. 

What is it that you need to say “no” to, to be able to say “yes” to peace and joy?  I would love to hear from you!