by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Sep 24, 2019 | Book
This is the second post in a series from my (Robin) new book! Here is an excerpt from chapter 7.
Everything begins to fall apart for Adam and Eve (and the rest of us humans) when they listened to the serpents offering. He tells them that who they are is not good enough. He says that what they have accomplished is not sufficient and He offers them more. Before this temptation, Adam and Eve were content simply being God’s kids. They were not seeking more power or knowledge. They were not even hungry for the actual fruit. However, when the serpent tempted them with more power and knowledge, merely BEING Adam and Eve was not enough. Now they needed to add something to their existence. At this point, people lost their contentment with simply being.
When God begins his path of redemption for humanity, he goes back to the original plan. He identifies a group of humans as “his people.” Starting with Abraham and Sarah, God identifies Israelites as special simply because of WHO they are.
The Lord had said to Abram,
“Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you” (Genesis 12:1-3).
God tells Abram to leave all that has defined him. He is to leave his homeland and family and be redefined entirely by God. God changes his name from Abram to Abraham to signify the complete identity revolution that is happening. God’s instructions are big, yet they are not complicated. In Genesis 17, God tells Abraham that he will make him the father of multiple nations (v.4). “I will BE your God, and you will BE my people.” The entire covenant is about identity between God and Abraham and his descendants.
From this point forward, the Israelites are known as “God’s people.” They are to be the vehicle for God’s salvation for all people. Through them, God speaks… to the world. Through the Jewish bloodline, God brings a savior that will redeem every broken part of the earth, creature, and person. However, all this meaningfulness rests NOT on the Jews’ ability to save the world. It is entirely reliant on them simply being God’s people and allowing God to work through them. If you have studied Israel’s plight through history, you know they have failed countless times to represent God. However, God never abandons the plan. God knows that their identity of being his people is enough.
If we fast forward to the beginning of the New Testament, we see a God who continues to love the world deeply, yet his people have lost their identity. There is so much confusion and turmoil. This text says it so clearly,
“the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time” (Romans 8:21-22 NLT).
Well aware of this groaning, God is about to transform everything and everyone when he enters the world as one of us, Jesus, the Son of God. Through Jesus, God will renew the earth literally from the ground up. Every creature, plant, and person can participate and reflect God’s beauty. This movement will remain in the same pattern as every other move of God. That is, God will identify his people.
We see this taking shape in the New Testament when John baptizes Jesus. As Jesus comes out of the waters of baptism, a voice from heaven says, “…This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy” Matthew 3:17 (NLT). At this point, Jesus had not taught a sermon, healed a blind eye, and had not died for the sins of the world. He was God’s son and brought great joy BEFORE he did the massive work of salvation. As he leaves the Jordan River that day, he begins his public ministry standing on the foundation of BEING someone and belonging to someone. All of his meaning (and obedience) stems from his identity.
Unfortunately, most of us do the opposite. We try to find our identity by what we do, what we like/dislike, how we dress, what groups we relate to, etc. We do good, obedient things to be in approved by God. We want His favor, so we exert an excessive amount of time and energy striving to be in good standing with God. When we are nailing it as a Christian, we feel terrific about ourselves. We feel like we are in good standing with God and therefore His son or daughter. When we are doing well, we are tempted to take the credit for our good behavior and we look down on those who are not holding their end of the bargain. In reverse, when we are struggling to live a righteous life with constant mess-ups, we regularly beat ourselves up. We live in guilt and explore ways to pay penance for our sin. In these moments, we feel God is far from us, and we do not deserve to be His son or daughter, and we feel less meaningful.
I would love to hear from you!
What kind of activities/actions make you feel important?
Who in life makes you feel the most valuable? How do they do that?
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by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Sep 6, 2019 | Book
I (Robin) am so excited to let you know that I just finished a round of edits on a new book coming out very soon! Several years back, I felt compelled to write a book. Of course, I didn’t know where to start, but I knew that it would be centered around our daughter’s life. Our journey with her has taught us so many lesson and encouraged 1000s of people. There was no question in my mind that God was calling us to get this into book form.
For several years, I toyed around with different ideas. We started blogging and trying to process all the thoughts, emotions, feelings, and theology that has come out over the last 17 years. I could never really nail down a concise message until the fall of 2016. I was speaking at a friend’s church in Austin, and he asked me to use our story with a particular verse in the Bible. John 5 talks about a crippled man who was asked by Jesus, “Would you like to be made whole?” As I began to dig into this passage and look at our daughter’s life, it was clear that she was a shinning example of someone who was whole. I knew that modern society would be shocked to hear this. How could she be whole? What made her whole? How did that play out in everyday life?
After I spoke that Sunday, I got a great response from the congregation (a very white, well-off crowd). Ha! Then, over the next 2 years, I did a lot of international travel and spoke the same message to people in Mexico, Cuba, Guatemala, and India. Typically, I really wrestle with speaking over seas because of the cultural differences. It is intimidating to figure out how to relate to people that are so completely different. However, I decided to simply give the same message using my daughter’s story. I didn’t change anything. In every country I got the same result. People were deeply impacted with the simple message of being made whole. While in Cuba I clearly heard God speak to me, “This is the message of the book. Write this message in book form and get it out to the world.”
Of course I went to some agents and publishers to see what the interest would be. The new nature of publishing is that you need 10s of 1000s of followers on social media to get a book deal. That wasn’t me! What should I do? I wrestled with this quite a bit and got another clear message from God, “I didn’t tell you to get a book deal or that it would sell a lot of copies. I told you to write a book and publish it.” Wow! What a release. From that point, I simply made the decision to be faithful in the process. I would write the book and self-publish. I finished the first draft in early 2018. A dear friend of mine had just had his book edited. I asked who was his editor and he introduced me to Deborah (will share more about that some other day). Deborah and I have been working over the last year to finish this round of tough edits. It is such a difficult and long process. Today, we finished!
Now, I have to connect with the publisher and move towards the final stages. I wanted you all to know about this first hand because of several reason: #1 – I want you to be the first to get a copy. #2 Before that happens, I want to share with you portions of the book. I would love your feedback. How you respond to different portions will let me know how it resonates and how I can market it to folks. I will be posting sections to our blog over the next few weeks. Be looking for it! I would love to hear your thoughts on the book!
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by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Jun 30, 2014 | Book, Choices, Grandparents
When people think of your family, what images or emotions come to mind? What is your family identity? We are passing down attributes, habits, culture, and characteristics to the next generation. What are you passing down? If you haven’t considered it, then NOW is the time. Being “liked” is not the ultimate winning scenario. It is possible that you will not be liked by some when you live out the characteristics and moral values that are Biblical. (I just used that title to get your attention. So far so good. 🙂 I’m not sure if people like my family, but I love it!
WAKE UP CALL: Just because your family goes to church doesn’t mean that you are passing down Biblical values.
Another WAKE UP CALL: Your best intentions don’t work Biblical values into your posterity.
Your kids are only accepting and growing into the values that you live out before them. We must be intentional about living the life.
I wrote a mini-book to help people work through these issues. It is 4 short chapters with questions that guide a discussion with the rest of your family. You can get it free by signing up for our newsletter.
Our Steele family has a strong heritage of hard workers and deep faith in Jesus. We are determined to have this culture passed down to each subsequent generation. Each of our families are intentional about creating a home culture that cultivates each person’s individuality while at the same time staying anchored to eternal, Biblical truths.
- Salvation – Jesus saves us and we want to participate in others finding Him.
- Forgiveness – We have been forgiven and willingly forgive everyone else.
- Love – We want to live out love in our neighborhood. We want to participate in the resolution.
- Integrity – If we said it, we meant it. We will follow up on it.
- Hard-Working – If you don’t work, you don’t eat.
One thing that we do each summer is host a summer camp for all the kids in our family that are 6-12 years of age. The moms, dads, aunts, uncles, and grandparents all chip in and help lead the kids. There is a whole lot of fun. The strong prayer culture created by our grandmother is passed down. Most of all, we live together for a week and share ourselves with each other. Wow! We host it at our family’s ranch in the Texas Hill Country. A very rough, yet beautiful ranch with cows, creeks, and a lot of critters.
I
For more pics, you can follow the Instagram hashtag: #steelefamilycamp14
Would you like to plan something like this Family Camp? We can help you plan it! email us: hey@mademeaningful.com
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by pastorrobin | Feb 14, 2013 | Book
When Kennady reached ‘school age’, we were hesitant to release her to other people all day long. In fact, in Texas, school age for kids with disabilities is 3 years old. As a parent, it is so difficult to see your three year old load the bus and head off to school for the day. We made the decision that it was good for her to get the attention of loving teachers. The teachers in Lockhart were so special. We will never forget the heart and soul of Mrs. Lucas, Mrs. Williams, Ms. Green, and others that loved and cared for Kennady.
In 2009, we faced the same dilemma. We were moving to Hays school district. There were so many unknowns. Who would her teacher be? What would they be doing at school all day? Would they be sensitive to her needs? Would they push her to grow and develop to her full potential?
Our fears were put to rest when we entered the room. Wow. An enormous room with tons of adaptive equipment, soft lighting, and a warm smile by the one and only Mrs. Cato.
As days turned into months and months into years, we took for granted this whole school system. We would send Kennady off to school and greet her at the door when the bus returned. We would read reports from the teachers. A few times a year, we go to the classroom and have a social meeting with the teachers and other parents.
This is so brutal to admit, but we would see school as glorified babysitting. After not seeing notable progress with Kennady, we resorted to a ‘maintain’ philosophy. There was a point after our prayers for progress were seemingly unanswered that we needed to accept her the way she was and move on. We needed to love her for who she was and not care if she changed at all. While in that place, it is so difficult to keep pushing for progress.
That is where the rest of the team (family) kicks into gear. Each day Kennady went to school she was not being babysat. In fact, she was on a regimen to push her as far as she could go developmentally.
The ARD meeting every year reminds us of how valuable this whole community of love is. It refreshes our heart for Kennady’s progess. ARD stands for “Admission, Review, Dismissal”. Basically, any kid in the special education part of the district goes through ARD meetings to determine if they qualify for the program, review how the plan is working, and then dismiss when the services are no longer needed.
For the last few years, I (Robin) have not made the ARD meeting. I have had other meetings/plans creep up. Honestly, I have not made it a priority. That has all changed.
This year, Erica asked me if I was going. I looked at my calendar and nothing was on there so I made plans to go.
It was a cold Thursday morning. We were running a bit late. We rushed into the main office, we were cleared by ‘security’. Warning! Do not ever mess with a school secretary about…anything! They are worse than church secretaries! Give them your ID and wait for clearance. Once we got the ok, we headed back through the hallway. We opened the door to a very small conference room. We were the last ones to arrive. Gathered around the table were 6 women and 1 man eagerly waiting for us to arrive. I was emotional from the time I saw all their faces looking at us.
Wow. All these people are a part of Kennady’s life. The leader of the meeting began the official proceedings. Review of the schedule, how Kennady has done with last year’s goals, what the goals are for the next year, and what the plans are for junior high next year.
As time passed and each teacher shared their desires for Kennady, Erica and I fought back tears. These folks really are investing in Kennady and have high hopes for her making strong progress. They want her to use adaptive equipment to change her own TV channels. The have a goal of her using equipment to say her name and to say ‘hello’ to you as you walk into the room. They are working on getting her a customized chair that is fits her exact body shape. They integrate her into a regular science class, and in PE, Kennady is on the team with other boys and girls.
That inspired a question from me to the science and PE teacher. “How do the other kids interact with Kennady?” “Oh, they love her. They defend her. They accept her, say hi in the hallways, and want to be her partner. They actually get mad at her in PE when she is not pulling her weight. They treat her as a peer.” Mrs Cato (her main teacher) said, “I just had a 5th grade girl ask me to write her a recommendation letter to the junior high principal so that she could be Kennady’s PAL (assistant) next year.” Ok, if you didn’t just tear up, you are cold blooded.
It truly takes a community to raise a child, especially one that has so many special needs. I don’t believe you can ever overrate community. God created the world with the innate need to come together. As Americans, we value individuality and the whole ‘self-made man’ idea. Why? Each of us have different abilities that are designed to intricately connect and bring life one another.
He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. Ephesians 4:16
We need others to pick us up when we are weak. We all get weak at some point.
I hope these teachers and school administrators see their work as a piece in a much bigger puzzle. It’s more than education. It is more than babysitting kids that often don’t want to be in school. Community is a puzzle of life that needs people of all shapes, sizes, skills, heart, time, effort, passion. Yes, they are teaching children, but they are also lifting a huge burden from the parents. They are carrying a torch that will change the next generation. We appreciate you, teachers!
The next you hear someone trashing the public school system, please say, “Uh, I’ve heard about some amazing people in the Hays CISD.” (and Lockhart)
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by pastorrobin | Feb 6, 2013 | Book, How to deal with pain
Erica and I were shell-shocked a few hours after Kennady’s birth. We had the emotional exhilaration of birth. Seeing a new baby exit the womb and enter the world is one of the most impactful experiences I have witnessed. Then, after the MRI, we received the news from Dr Wilson that our daughter not only had fluid on the brain (a condition with quite a bit of hope for a normal life), but she also had a condition that was immensely worse. Her brain did not divide into halves. They were unsure of what parts of her brain were actually developed and therefore could offer zero prognosis. At that point, we realized, barring a miracle, our daughter would be severely mentally retarded for her whole life.
The weight of that type of diagnosis and sort of ‘final word’ is difficult to explain. While in the womb, there was hope that when she was born everything would change. That the good news we were waiting for would finally show up and God would be glorified. This was the day we received the crushing blow of reality. God did not heal her in the womb.
Why does news like that seem so difficult? Later when I dissected the news itself and investigated why it felt like a ton of bricks, ironically something some thing very positive was revealed. News like that is horrible because of the fear it casts for the future. We had thoughts like: ‘she will never talk, she will never walk’, ‘she is going to need a wheelchair’, ‘what if I am still changing her diaper when she is 25 years old and I am 50’. All the angst and difficulty was in the future. All the bad news, difficulty, abnormality, and stress was technically months and years down the line.
If we looked at that day itself, her diagnosis had minimal effect. She laid cutely and quietly in her crib and for all intents and purposes was a ‘normal’ new born.
One of our heroes, Cindy Woldhagen, has a son with Down’s Syndrome. During this season of our life, Cindy was source of strength and inspiration. After Kennady’s diagnosis, she told us a statement that completely changed our outlook from that day forward. It was a simple statement. In fact, it is quite cliché. I had heard it for years and thought it was a neat little philosophy. However, when we stood in the church hallway that Sunday, she said it and it was like the heavens opened, beams of light shown down, and angels sang. She calmly said, “Robin, you have to take it day by day.” So simple yet so liberating. I felt peace flood my anguished heart and mind. I didn’t have to think about wheelchairs or adult diapers. All I had to do was care for my family today. That is it. That is all Kennady needed and all God expected.
This is not just a good philosophy. These words originally came from Jesus during his most famous sermon. When He talks about the troubles of life, He says,
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34 NLT
A few scriptures before that, He is teaching us how to pray and He says,
“Give us today the food we need” Matthew 6:11 NLT
He was precise in His wording. He could have said, “Give us the food we need for the next week or month…” However, throughout this sermon, He emphasizes daily priority. In our modern culture, we are driven focus on what we don’t have today and therefore do all we can to obtain more in the future. Instead, Jesus is saying look at what you have now and use it to the best of your ability. In fact, you might not even be around tomorrow. If you are around tomorrow, then deal with it then.
Many times in scripture Jesus’ schedule is interrupted by individuals needing assistance. He often dropped his plans and healed, scolded, delivered, saved, related to whoever was there. He had a lot of very important work to do. All the while, He knew that he was facing the pressure of the cross in the near future. He knew that the cross was inescapable. I am sure He had human thoughts of “I wonder if these disciples are actually going to get the job done.” “The cross is going to take me away from the progress being made.” Jesus was well aware of His own path of death. If He was to face accusation, persecution, and death, that path was certain to lead to beating, public humility, and at the end was hands and feet being physically nailed to wood and then suspended in mid air. The Romans demonstrated this method of capital punishment often.
For a moment, put yourself in Jesus’ shoes. How stressful would that be? We struggle with the stress of traffic and bills, much less trying to deal with being drug to the town square and brutally murdered in front of crying family and friends, embarrassed strangers, and laughing enemies. Most likely we would struggle with daily operations. Studying for tests at school, preparing for work, or finishing projects would be extremely difficult. Jesus knew that the prospect of future disappointment and of immanent danger could cripple your effectiveness today.
This was not just because He is God, but because He personally experienced it as a human Himself.
He knew you needed to be effective today, so He preaches this powerful truth. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Get it right today. Nail today.
Recently, I got a call from a mom. “Please come and speak with my son, Joe. He woke up this morning hung-over. He is facing a serious court date soon. I’m afraid that he is going to seriously injure himself or others. Can you come to the house and speak to him? He really wants to do right, but is fighting the reality of a lot of scary scenarios.” I thought for a moment, looked at my busy schedule and decided to go meet with him. As I sat in their living room and discussed the broken past and depressing future, the words of Jesus began ringing in my ears. At 20 years of age, Joe faced a trial the next week that could possibly put him in prison for 10 years. He sat with a heavy heart, knowing that he had failed last night in a drunken stooper. He knew what was right, yet he was losing a fight with a demon of alcoholic addiction. Demons whisper in his ear, “If you are only 6 more days in the free world, why not just end with a huge party. You can clean up in jail.”
When facing the depression of 10 years incarcerated, a few more days of freedom, and no relationship with God, you are going to lose that battle. I told Joe that day to forget the prison sentence, forget next week, forget tomorrow.
“Joe, you need to focus on God for this moment. You need to serve God today. We are about to pray and when we do we are going to ask God to give you the power to overcome evil today. Then, tomorrow, you are going to wake up again and pray for tomorrow. However, the question you need to figure out is…’am I going to get drunk tonight.’ To answer that question ‘no’, then you need to ask God to give you strength and then set up some boundaries for today that will guard you.”
Why do we let the prospect of a difficult future cripple our potential for today? What Erica and I have found out is that God gives us exactly what we can handle each day. He incrementally gives us what we can handle. Some days, we think “are you sure God?” It seems extremely difficult, but we pray for God’s grace.
Each time he said,“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
In Joe’s example, it is easy to see that temptation is being battled. However, in Erica and my case, there is equal pressure to sin. We were not tempted to go get loaded that night, but we were tempted to doubt God. We were tempted to put ourselves first and tempted to believe that our comfort was most important over God’s sovereign plan. After all the devastation of our daughter’s illness was that our entire life was going to change and that every dream we thought was coming to pass with the birth of our child was turning into a nightmare. Even in that dark scenario, we knew that God was going to be there with His sufficient grace. Always allowing us to feel the pressure and giving us a choice.
People look at our family and how we handle situations and
tell us, “We could never do what you do. It’s amazing how strong you are.” What they don’t realize is that God has given us all daily challenges. Each day we grow stronger and stronger. The truth is that Erica and I are very strong. However, that strength is not from us and it didn’t happen overnight. It comes from God and it comes day by day. All parts of God’s creation grow in their own pace, yet each day is vital to its health and growth. How we steward over each day determines where we end up in the future. Just as walls are built one brick at a time, we link together days with God until we look back and realize He has created in us a wall of strength.
Just as we should never allow the unknown of tomorrow influence our success, we also should never let the regrets of yesterday affect today. Some folks’ battle with the past severely inhibits their potential. Fear of failure today is born out of yesterday’s mishaps. The power of Jesus Christ is able to erase the sin and brokenness of our past.
Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago. Acts 3:19-21 ESV
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4 ESV
If you are struggling with bad news or a diagnosis, then do not let it cripple you now! Pray for God to bring the mercy to forgive and the grace to empower you. This will give you the fuel to not only ‘get through’ today, but conquer it and be ready for tomorrow when it gets here.
I (robin) am working on a non-fiction book proposal that will go along the same lines as our Made Meaningful ministry. From time to time, I post thoughts that will most likely end up in the book. These were some thoughts on prayer. (raw and unedited) I welcome your comments and/or questions to help me refine the writing.
Have you struggled with a future that looked impossible?
How did you overcome that fear?
Please share your thoughts.
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by pastorrobin | Feb 4, 2013 | Book
I (robin) am working on a non-fiction book proposal that will go along the same lines as our Made Meaningful ministry. From time to time, I post thoughts that will most likely end up in the book. Here are some thoughts on prayer. These are raw and unedited. I welcome your comments and/or questions to help me refine the writing.
My uncle Greg praying over me.
I have a huge family and one of the things they love to do is pray. My dad’s mom is what we call a prayer warrior! She whips her kids that don’t pray and they are grown men and women. When this woman opens her mouth angels and demons turn an ear. While Erica was pregnant with Kennady, we called her and all my aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors and any one else that come over. We gathered in my parents large living room and stated the entire scenario of our baby girl’s situation. A few people quoted scripture and then we began to pray. We prayed specifically for God to heal our baby’s brain, for a speedy delivery, health and prosperity.
After every prayer session, we would go back for a subsequent sonogram. Each sonogram reported that the condition had gotten worse. Our daughter’s head was swelling at a rapid pace and there was no sign of brain development. These accounts brutally challenged our faith. Until this point in my life, I had never experience such a brutal denial from God. To passionately pray and feel like you made ‘headway’ with God and then go to the doctor and hear snickering from the devil as the sonographer bluntly states that fluid on the brain was increasing confused our faith.
Something was not adding up. We were praying specific prayers but they were specifically not being answered. We immediately started asking ourselves questions like: Were we too bad of sinners? Were we praying the right prayers? Were we not praying enough? Did we need to get more people to pray? Answering these questions and thousands of others like it produce new levels of faith in our lives. We can never get to these questions until we personally are thrust into the situation. When there is a mountain of pain and silence from God, we either get closer to Him through revelation or our anger drives us farther away. Even though we were not getting the results we looked for, we continued to pray through the diversity.
Questioning God honestly expresses your concern, frustration, and distress. Jesus says that our Father knows what we need from Him before we even ask[1]. Therefore, it is ignorant to fake like we are doing perfectly well before God all the while we are broken inside. While counseling with members of my church and meeting in small groups, I find that most people think they are being honest with God when in reality that is not the case. In actuality, they are not even being honest with themselves, much less God. Most of the time, God listens to prayers laced with hidden sin, no repentance, memorized clichés, and self promoting requests.
First, in dishonest prayers, we are not open about our hidden sin. We either do not see it, or we are trying to hide it and act like it does not matter. We are afraid of facing life without the pleasure it provides. We are addicted to the cheap reward of sin and can not see the benefits of purity much less the eternal consequence. However, many of us love God and we find ways of hiding in our own Garden of Eden like Adam and Eve did after eating the fruit[2]. God is looking for our honesty just like He searched for Adam and Eve that day. It is in our honest heart felt prayers toward God that true progress is made in our relationship with Him. When we choose to reveal our sin to him, it gives Him open access to forgive us. Without our permission, God’s hands are tied. Psalms 8:6 says, “You (God) have given him (man) dominion over the works of your hands; You have put all things under his feet. (ESV)” God creates the world in such a way that humans possess the authority to choose whom they will serve. God does not barge into our spiritual or natural lives and dictate what the day’s schedule will be. However, if we open up our schedule to Him, He is more than willing and able to work on our behalf.
Regardless of the good works we are achieving in life, if we continue a life of sin hidden from God, we are cheating God and life. My definition of integrity is purity and dependability. Many of our prayers lack integrity. We pray about all the things we need and want, and think are required for ministry. All the while we look over the anger we have for the friend on the praise team or the softball team. We hide the lust we have been playing with at work, the lingering looks and the gentle suggestions. We avoid talking to God about the business deal that needs a little cover up, the tax return that needs a little flubbing. We think that God has not listened to every whisper or text message, every email or phone call. God has listened, read, and watched every action big or small. He knows every flagrant foul, white lie, brushing of bodies, and website logged onto. Yet, when we talk to Him as Christians, we often avoid those references.
Our generation is losing our grasp on the reality of hell. The preaching and teaching of our leadership, for the most part, has drifted from wages of sin and rewards of grace in eternity. Most messages, sermons, and books are simply how to make it ‘today’. Our thoughts and concerns of eternity seem to be placed on the back burner. The Bible mentions there will be a generation that wants its ears scratched, meaning we don’t want honest, hard-hitting truth about the sin we are living in[3]. We want messages about how we can get out of the mess we are in. In truth, both of these are intrinsically related. The majority of the mess we are in is because of the sin we are in. When we are repulsed and convicted of our sin, turn from our wicked ways, then we will hear from God, He will forgive us and our lives will begin a slow turning around. The Old Testament establishes this concept and the New Testament reaffirms it[4].
When we reach a breaking point in our life sin reveals itself. If it is not revealed, you search your life like a starving mad man trying to find anything that could have caused such an awful turn of events. Thank God for this. In Jesus’ most famous sermon, he talks about the horrible side of sin and tells his followers to do everything possible to avoid sin. He suggests we should even poke our eye out or cut off our arm if those cause us to sin[5].
Second, in dishonest prayers, we do not ask for what we truly need. We ask for things we want. In reality, our needs and wants are often different. When we are honest in our prayers to God, we ask for things like purity not pleasure. We ask for authenticity, integrity, and help with our temptations. For example in our marriage, we should seek strength to be honest with our spouse instead of asking for a better marriage. Because often when we pray for a ‘better marriage’ what we are really asking is for God to heal the marriage without us changing or being honest with our spouse. Dishonest prayers are prayers for magic. We want God to perform a supernatural act that will hide all of our inconsistencies. Sure, God has that power, however, he desires our honest prayers that reveal to him acknowledgment of our sin and a desire for life change. We want no pain, no discomfort, no brokenness, and inconsistency. God does not want it as the end result, however, He allows portions of it
Honest prayers acknowledge the pain that we are going through and asks God for grace to see us through the breaking point. Honest prayers speak positive words of faith. We should not deny the pain or fake like it does not exist. We should address it. Face the brokenness head-on. God knows about it, you know about it, and the devil knows about. When we act like it does not exist, we are shortchanging the situation. God’s power is not intimidated by the size and scope of your problem. In fact, asking God for help in desperate situations actually honors God. Your honest prayer in essence says, “God, I believe you are big enough to do anything I need, and you actually care enough to act on my behalf.”
At our point of brokenness with Kennady, our prayers began to change. I remember waiting in the hospital and uttering small pulses of adoration to God. I no longer wanted to wait until a scheduled session with a formal outline. In the heat of the moment, prayer returns to its natural intent which is communicating. Unfortunately, most of the time it takes brutal life experience for brutal honesty to show up in our prayers. Both Erica and I began journaling our prayers also. Each night before going to sleep, we would pull out our notebooks and pour out our hearts onto the paper. We would passionately and rapidly express to God our deepest worship and concerns. Looking back at some of the pages of prayers, it amazes me at the content of our worship. Praising and worshipping God through our journal ushered us through a dark valley of life. Our prayer times at the church and with family literally carried us over hurdles of surgery, ICU, learning how to administer medication and doctor visits. Erica experienced the doctor visit from hell when a genetic doctor told her to expect Kennady to be abused sexually when she entered school. After hearing something like that you either want to reach over and slap her around or just lay over and give up unless prayer is involved. We continually tell God that we are unable to do this. “We can not make it, Lord.” God continues to tell us, “No, you can’t without me. However, if you will stick with me, we can do this together.”
Prayer not only helped us deal with doctors, but also with the people around us. When Kennedy was an infant, no one recognized her disability. With the VP Shunt surgery, the swelling in her head greatly reduced and most people did not recognize her disability. However, as she gets older, the secret is out. Erica strolls through the grocery store pulling a cart with groceries and two blonde-headed monkeys jumping around and pushing Kennady in her wheel chair. The looks never cease and we can’t figure out if they are staring at Kennady’s condition or wondering why we had so many kids after the fact. Prayer has helped us laugh at situations like these. God has given us the grace through prayer.
Fortunately for me, I cannot tell you what brokenness would be like without prayer. From my childhood, I have been taught the power of intimate conversations with God. I have walked through seasons of life where my conversations with God were very sparse and not very sincere. However, brokenness has a way My prayers have taken multiple forms. Different expressions, styles, lengths, volumes and contents of prayer each have their place as I wade through all of the challenges of life. I know that even with prayer there are times that the brokenness seems to be extremely difficult.
Randy Phillips, who at the time was my boss, pastor, and friend, pulled me into his office a few weeks after the news and said, “What are you going to do about this report?” I was shocked to hear such a statement. What do you mean, “What am I going to do!” I thought. There is not anything I can do at this point. He handed me a book called, Intercessory Prayer, by Dutch Sheets and calmly stated, “Read this book.” He went on to mention that it was time for me to establish prayer as the foundation for our actions. That God was able to heal our daughter and that if it was going to happen that we had to pray for it to happen. God does not just do things without our prayerful release. If God choose not to heal, then He would give us the grace to deal with it. I took the book home and read it in two days. I devoured the concept of intercessory prayer like never before and we began to hold prayer meetings specifically for the healing of our baby. It seemed we had all the elements of faith, hope, and love that were needed. However, I prayed and God was turning his head in denial. Later, I would learn that God turned his head to my request because a much better way lurked around the corner.
In the comment section, please share your story of prayer OR ask questions that this might have stirred up.
[4] 2 Chronicles 7:14, Acts 2:38
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