by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Jun 20, 2016 | Choices, How to deal with pain
Retarded is not a bad word.
re·tard·ed
rəˈtärdəd/
adjective *dated offensive*
less advanced in mental, physical, or social development than is usual for one’s age.
“Special Needs” is a more recent term (that has replaced retarded, along with many others) to describe anyone with more complex needs than the average person, health-wise or mentally.
My daughter falls into this category.
The other day I was at church, surrounded by people I know and love. One of the ladies began making fun of someone who was “special.” I was caught so off guard that I thought, “Surely she is meaning that in some other way. Surely I misunderstood.”
I am sure she had no idea the power of the words her heart was speaking. I’m sure that she is so numb to this way of operating that it never occurred to her that she was making fun of a group of people that included my child.
I got a message later that day from another lady who was in the room, apologizing for any hurt those words may have carried into my heart. She followed the message with a proposal to change “special needs” to “exceptional needs.”
The problem has never been the word. Although I so very much appreciate the other lady reaching out to me in concern and care, it put a spotlight on the real issue.
If you were to describe my daughter, retarded or any of these words, would be an appropriate definition.
How many times are we going to change the word?
Retarded became “dated and offensive.”
Special is becoming “dated and offensive.”
The real issue is our hearts.
How do you view people that are not like you?
Do you use the term to demean them?
Do you use it to kindly describe, or do you use the term to tear them down and make others feel less than you?
Do you use it to make yourself look better?
Do you use it to be hateful to someone else, to point out their flaws?
Do you use the term jokingly, without thought of the people you are speaking of?
The solution never has and never will be new words. Someone will just demean the next word that is presented. The problem is in the heart.
Be a voice for good. Speak up for those who can’t speak. Gently remind others that their words are powerful. Speak truth, not hurt.
We are called to love everyone.
Romans 13:9 “love your neighbor as yourself”
+Erica Steele
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by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Feb 18, 2016 | Uncategorized
Right to Life
I (Robin) was once again asked by Texas Alliance for Life testify before the Texas Senate’s Committee on Health and Human Services. They are considering a bill that will close the door for ‘wrongful birth’ lawsuits. In other words, parents can sue doctors, nurses, hospitals (any medical person or place) because the parent wasn’t notified of their child’s disability and would have aborted if they would have known. They can sue because their child was ‘wrongfully born’. This is what I read before them today that supports giving anyone and everyone the right to life:
Hello, My name is Robin Steele from San Marcos, TX. I am speaking in favor eliminating the cause of action called “Wrongful Birth”. My wife, Erica, and I were expecting our first child in September 2001. When had our first sonogram at 30 weeks of pregnancy, all our dreams and visions for our child came to a crashing halt. Our daughter’s brain was almost non-existent. She was diagnosed with profound hydrocephalus. “Your daughter might not be born alive or live very long after birth. She could possibly be blind, deaf, and severely disabled. Most likely, there will be learning disabilities and mental retardation.”
We were given two options. C-section at 38 weeks or a late term abortion out of state
Kennady was born November 24, 2001. After birth a MRI revealed that her condition was actually much worse than they originally thought. She had Alobar Holoprosencephaly. The brain surgeon told us she could be expected to live anywhere from 6 months to two years (if she was lucky).
Right to Life
Kennady celebrated her 14th year birthday in November. She is unable to walk or talk, She is unable to sit up or eat on her own. However, She is the happiest seventh grader you have ever seen in a wheelchair. She speaks volumes with a contagious smile. Your heart will melt when you take her by the hand, and she starts giggling. She doesn’t know about the tension in the Middle East. She has never met a stranger and has no clue that people stare in the grocery store.
Suing a medical professional because our Kennady was born with a disability is like suing CBS because the Panthers lost the Superbowl….as if the network had responsibility in the loss. If all odds are against the our favorite team and it looks as though they will lose, the team will still want to play and give it their best. The game is really up to the team. The disability and chance for life is truly owned by the child. It is his or her right to have a chance at life to live or die naturally. Who are we to usurp our authority into a situation where only God owns the rights?
As parents, we take ALL responsibility for that child until that child has reached the age of personal responsibility. If that child never reaches that age, then you, as the parent, must own that responsibility. That is part of living in the world in which we live. Things don’t go as planned. Hurdles, mountains, and deserts are to be crossed. When these challenges come our way, we don’t look to the nearest scapegoat in order to make ourselves feel better or skirt our responsibility. No, we do the right thing. We love our kids and raise them to be all they can be. We learn from them. We are changed into better people because we have allowed brokenness to be meaningful.
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by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Dec 15, 2015 | random life
We want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2016!
Our family loves this season of family, friends, and good food. We love the dark, cold night of new beginnings when a baby was born in a Bethlehem. Jesus, the light of the world, was born of a virgin. He came to save us, and he completely accomplished that goal with this life, death, burial and resurrection.
We like to decorate the tree, gather with friends, sing carols, read the scriptures, worship with other believers at church, and give gifts! There is nothing like it.
Then, we rest from work and anything productive from December 26-January 1st. We reserve that time to recharge and rest. We all need strong Sabbaticals from the daily grind. Many of our friends and church members suffered greatly in 2015. Family drama, two massive floods, the passing of loved ones. We stuck together through it all and look forward to a fresh start in 2016.
In late November we were blessed to get our family pics taken by Shannon Lafayette Photography. A good friend. Check her website out.
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#everyday
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Gotta keep dancing!!
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What a sweet pic of the boys taking care of Kennady
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Brotherly love!
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The men!
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Getcha some!!
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No acting here. The real deal!
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You can’t separate these three!
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Siblings having fun!
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Kennady makes us laugh
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by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Nov 24, 2015 | random life
Doctors said she would probably live 6months to 2 years. It has now been 14 and she continues to defy the odds by God’s grace. She teaches daily powerful lessons of courage, determination and faith. If you haven’t read her story, click links in menu to see what God has done!
WE LOVE YOU, KENNADY.
Amazing pic by Shannon Lafeyette Photography. http://www.shannonlafayettephotography.com/
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by robinsteele1@gmail.com | Nov 16, 2015 | Uncategorized
Avery’s Selfie: We love his style. Missing teeth, sweet spirit, daring adventure attitude…the list goes on and on.
The other day, I (Robin) was sitting on the couch after a long day in the office. I was so tired. Oddly enough, most of the family was sitting together in the living room downstairs. Avery, our 9yr old son, said, “Dad, look at me. I am going to do 20 somersaults on the floor.” Honestly, I thought, “Why in the world are you going to do 20 rolls on the floor? I don’t think I have the energy or focus to watch you do something so boring. Can’t you do something else?”
Without being able to contest or put him off, he jumped into the air and started rolling across the floor. He rolled and rolled and rolled some more. He linked as many rolls together as he could. Then, he would run into a couch, turn and continue rolling. With each roll, I melted a little. My brain began to focus and my heart began to melt. I began to cheer for him and count loudly for each roll. He went from 20 rolls to 30 to 40 and finally collapsed after 50 consecutive rolls. I was yelling for him to keep going. He laid on his back, arms stretched wide, looking at the ceiling, and breathing heavily. He said, “I’m done.”
As soon as he finished, I realized that I was so thankful for him. I was so thankful that he was alive and could roll on the floor. I was thankful he could call my name. I was thankful that he was interested in impressing me with the seemingly meaningless skill of consecutive somersaults. God has a way of using things like somersaults as an alarm clock, waking us from our deep slumber.
Our blistering pace of life seems to put to rest our thankgiving. I think there is a feeling of gratitude way below the surface. We all understand that we don’t deserve the blessings, the people, the life we live. However, we rarely slow down long enough to actually allow those “thoughts of thanks” to bubble up to the surface and make themselves known.
Enter Thanksgiving (you know, the 4th Thursday of November). It’s a good thing. If not, we would probably go years before some issue of life hit us up across the head and finally woke us up.
Why are you thankful this year? A better question may be: What are you thankful for today? Does it take a while to dig something up? We are conditioned to think we need more…that what we have could always be improved or increased. That type of thinking naturally washes away a thankful, content heart. Maintaining a thankful heart in the midst of struggle or hard work is near impossible.
My thoughts on how to change that: Start a Daily Thankful Habit
We all have some good, daily habits. You know, little ones that make a big difference. We tell our kids we love them. We hug our spouse. We pray for our food. What if we added a little thankful habit? Maybe we need a Thankful App on our phone or a notification on our tablet. Take 5 min and slow down. Meditate on it. Write it down. Post it. Journal it. Tell someone. Tell God.
You need a plan.
Plan what you will do. Plan what you will do for the 5min. Will you simply meditate on it? What will stimulate the thoughts? What will you do with the thoughts (write them, talk to others, post them)?
Plan when you will do it. Plan how you will remember to do it. Find some other pattern or habit that is secure and attach this habit to it. OR attach the habit to a certain thought you have each day. You need a trigger to activate the habit. If you don’t connect a new habit to a trigger, you will not remember to do it. Plan a way to remember it for the first 2 months. Some say it takes 21 days to establish a habit. Maybe I am slow, but I have learned it takes me 2 or 3 months.
Plan who will be involved. Plan who can help you generate this thankful lifestyle. Who in your life could continue this conversation of gratitude (probably someone who you are already thankful for)? Maybe you simply find someone new each week to share your thoughts with.
Warning: using social media as a venue for expressing gratitude is dangerous. I am all for honoring others publicly, however using social media can quickly reverse the conversation and make it about your fulfillment instead of expressing gratitude with integrity. I have often posted something on Facebook and find myself going back to see who all liked it and commented on it. My thoughts are sometimes tainted with disappointment if that particular post didn’t get as much traction as I wanted. Maybe none of you are like that. In that case, disregard my warning and keep posting. 🙂
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