by pastorrobin | Dec 7, 2013 | Journey Journal
This is the third installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten). When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling. To start at the beginning, click here. Here is what we said on day 2:
DAY TWO – September 26, 2001 – (Robin)
Thousands of thoughts still go through our heads. However, we received more knowledge on the diagnosis. We visited a genetic counselor and she gave us positive news on the situation. (There is a best case scenario).
However, we are not putting our trust in positive news. This is hard to do. But, if we begin to rely on news, then bad news will kill our faith. Actually, there are no facts, yet and no way to determine the severity of the situation. We will begin to rely on good news when they are fact. Even though we have been positive, it is always in the back of your mind like a mental weight. Everyone has been so kind to us. I called Pastor Mark in Taos. He is “gathering the troops” in NM!
I feel like praising. This is the jail that Paul was in.
It is time to sing.
Read the Next Day
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by pastorrobin | Dec 6, 2013 | Children, Journey Journal
This is the second installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten). When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling. Click here to start reading Journal from the beginning. Here is what we said:
DAY TWO – September 26, 2001 – (Erica)
A Prayer…
Yesterday was one of the most shocking days and trying days I have faced. The doctors diagnosed this beautiful baby you have given us with Hydrocephalus. I am, of course, completely broken hearted. I feel like every hope I had and every plan I had has been re-directed, but at the same time I feel so much peace from you. There is so much to think about.
How do you keep pressing on and…well…I know, because you are making it so clear. We just need to trust you.
Thank you for being my complete strength. I turn all of my cares over to you. Thank you for giving me such a strong and wonderful husband that has looked to you for the answer from the minute we began this journey.
When we were in the doctors office, we both started hearing the song, “Whose report shall you believe?” It was so encouraging. Thank you Lord for your perfect grace and comfort.
I <3 U.
Read the Next Day
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by pastorrobin | Dec 5, 2013 | Journey Journal
This is the first installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten). When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling. Here is what we said:
DAY ONE – September 25, 2001 – (Robin)
Today was much anticipated. The day of the big sonogram. However, the news was bad. The doctor said our baby girl had little hope of a normal life and a large chance that she would not make it at all. Thousands of thoughts have flooded our minds. it is amazing how fast a brain can process thoughts. Positive, negative, middle. Much of the time we can’t tell if the thoughts we have are bad or not.
We are confused.
However, we have peace.
Never in my life have I had so much proof that I believe in God. When it came down to it and life was in a crunch, I told God that I believed in Him. Whether our baby is totally healthy or dies early, I will believe in Him. I will trust Him and I will seek Him and not a miracle.
I won’t lose my smile.
Read the Next Installment
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by pastorrobin | Nov 6, 2013 | Children
Erica and I were given the incredible opportunity to speak to several classes at a local high school (Lehman High). Betsy Slemmons teaches several different courses at Lehman and was looking for parents to share their experiences with her childhood development classes. Unfortunately, the day we were to speak, Erica had to go to a long birth and missed the sessions.
It has been almost 20 years since I graduated from high school and I still get nervous walking the halls.
I spoke to 3 different classes throughout the day. I told our story and tried to cover as many bases as I could. They asked some great questions too. We talked about her birth and diagnosis. We talked about the doctor’s proclamation of ‘no meaning‘ (which really fired them up). We covered our difficulties, struggles, laughs, insurance, blessings, Kennady’s love for rap music, and many other topics in between.
I encouraged them to be an advocate for those who have no voice. Speak up for those who can’t speak. Don’t laugh at ‘short bus’ jokes or drop the ‘r’ word. I left encouraged, thinking that we had connected on some deep levels.
Then, I received this letter in the mail. WOW. It seems only God can motivated people to give up their possessions, and He did. Love is strong and makes a difference.
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by pastorrobin | Sep 27, 2013 | How to deal with pain
A little background before I get to the HUG part:
When it is late at night and I have had a rough day, I go into Kennady’s room. She is laying there watching TV. Giggling and rolling around. The lights are dim and the atmosphere is calming. No matter what I have gone through that day or what struggles I am concerned about in the future, Kennady’s reality is much worse. However, her demeanor is so comforting.
Throughout the day, she has been unable to tell anyone what she wants. She has been unable to go where she wants…when she wants. We give her simple choices by holding up two objects and she often picks what she wants by gazing at one longer than the other. However, we are unable to know what choices she wants to make. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for her to want something and be unable to tell us. Sometimes she is in pain and we have to start a long process of elimination. For example, if her leg is hurting and she is crying we will start working on other parts of her body. We might give up before we reach her leg and alleviate the pain. Kennady is without most of the “life incentives” we have. No future of an education, career, a boyfriend/husband, driving a car, playing sports, etc. I could go on and on about how her life is a struggle and difficult, but I think most people get the picture.
When considering my day and the concerns that I have, they seem minor when I go into Kennady’s room. They seem to fall off my shoulders when I walk through the door. What little might still be clinging to me melts as I wrap my arms around her and she starts to hold me tight. She starts to comfort me by nuzzling her nose and mouth into my neck as to say, “Don’t worry, Dad. I know what it is like to struggle through the day. Everything is going to be ok.”
She is ok with life. She keeps smiling in the face of adversity. She seems to have mastered Philippians 4:11-13
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
She teaches her father/pastor a spiritual lesson.
Thank you, Jesus for giving me Kennady. I can’t imagine the Love of God that she must feel inside. She is so content. The good of God strongly defeats the pain and suffering of the world. The evidence of God: the Fruit of the Spirit is always in season in her life! What an unlikely place to hear, feel, and experience the power of God! In our weakness, he is strong!
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