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How to get through COVID19

How to get through COVID19

The majority of Americans were either so mad or so afraid during the early stages of COVID19 that their time at home was spent… worrying.  We stewed and grumbled.  We complained about the government.  Many of us (church leaders) were concerned that our church finances would be ruined and that no one would come back from the forced break.  Now, as many churches are reopening, we are finding out that… people are coming back and the church finances are going to be alright.  The people that are dealing with illness or setbacks are seeing that God is in the midst of that as well.  We are going to be ok.  We are going to make it.

I believe that many people will look back at their time during the COVID19 quarantine and say something like, If I had known that things would turn out well, I would have enjoyed my time stuck at home.”  In essence, many Americans have had weeks of free time that we haven’t seen since our childhood.  However, the time at home didn’t feel like a vacation.  Instead, it felt like a prison.  So many of us were unable to enjoy the time at home because our minds were trapped in the suspense of the unknown.

How do we drift so far from the assurance of God’s provision?  Why do we spend so much of our emotional energy struggling?  It is bizarre that we can have so much knowledge of God in our head and yet, our heart feels something different.  Seriously, most of our minds are filled with facts about God.  Theoretically, we should not feel this way.  There seems to be a disconnect.

In my household, we have one of the most vulnerable people around.  My daughter is severely mentally and physically disabled.  In the womb, her brain did not form correctly, and as a result, the doctors gave her just months to live.  They predicted that  she would die from the flu or pneumonia within a year.  For the first 5 or 6 years, we entered into flu season thinking, “Is this the year.”  She has defied the odds and lived for 18 years.  However, her life is extremely different from you and me.  She is unable to use any of her limbs, she can’t speak, she can’t eat by mouth, and she requires 24 hour assistance.

We lived in that cloud of unknown for so long.  It was exhausting.  Constantly trying to move forward in life without know what that might look like was draining.  These scenarios were not only challenging to suffer through from a practical standpoint, but a continual barrage over the years reinforced a loud message that we were not going to make it. They figuratively said things to us like, “You have no future. You cannot sustain this. You will run out of money. No one understands you. No one has the capacity to be your friend. You need to give up.”

As the world goes through 2020, negative messages bombard us. If we listen to them unprepared, we will be swept away on a journey far from home. We will travel from wholeness to a land of bitter, angry, lost, loneliness, and incompleteness. Most people live in this spot separated from the truth of God. As a result, we try to find our way back to peace in any way possible. Humans spend billions of dollars to get our minds off the mess. We try anything we can to distract ourselves, change our surroundings, or buy our way out of it.  In 2020, alcoholism, drug use, suicides have all sky-rocketed.

The only thing that genuinely led Erica and I back home was hearing our Father’s voice. I love what Augustine of Hippo said, “The Holy Scriptures are our letters from home.” The voice of our Father speaks truth amidst the chorus of confusing voices. In my darkest hours, the only thing that has assured my peace has been the truth of God’s voice. Hearing His voice and finding ways to center our lifestyle around it preserves the state of our hearts and minds.

When Jesus walked through desert times (literally a desert). He was tempted by the devil to believe that he was not whole. The only thing that Jesus used to combat the voice of the devil was the voice of his Father! Jesus said something amazing about pursing voices of the earth versus the words of his Father: “People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4 NLT). Basically, Jesus was saying, “Don’t rely on what people say around you. Don’t even rely on what this world can provide for you (even if you like the taste). Instead, your heavenly Father’s words are continuing to come towards you. Live off of those.”

This is a beautiful way to live. Jesus was anchored in peace because he chose to listen to the truth from his heavenly Father instead of the words and facts shouting at him. You could make a case that Jesus knew the words of God because he was God himself. However, when Jesus addresses the devil, he uses the words of the Hebrew Bible. Word for word, Jesus quotes the Bible when confronted with the option to believe a lie. This example teaches us that God’s Word is like a fountain that continually flows; it is relevant and personal. We can both hear it and read it in the Bible. We all know that we can learn a lot from literature. However, few believe that books can literally speak to you in the moment. The Bible offers just that.

When COVID19 started, Erica and I were ready.  We have had such bulletproof faith about our family’s health.  It was almost like we had been through a pandemic boot camp with our daughter.  Our experience with her and how it drove us to the voice of God gave us assurance that He was in control.  No matter what is going on around us (or even in our own home), we can trust that God is speaking and that is all that matters.

Portions of this article are taken from Robin’s new book: How To Be Made Whole which chronicles the profound message of God’s acceptance and control of our lives.

Not your typical Graduate

Not your typical Graduate

Kennady just graduated from High School.  Class of 2020!  We never dreamed that this day would come.

Fifteen years ago, at age 3, she started pre-K at Carver Elementary in Lockhart, TX.  The school bus would roll up to our house before the sun was up.  We would load her up and send her off.  Since then, we have changed schools five times in two districts.  She has been taught and loved on by some of the finest humans to walk the planet.  Mrs. Lucas, Ms. Williams, Mrs. Cato, Mrs. Travis, Mrs. Opiela, and Mrs. Noble loved our daughter.  They would push her to the limits with therapy and strategies for her level of learning.  For years, they worked with her to communicate via a computer and eye tracking system.  She started making decisions and choices with her eye gaze. Every year we had ARD meetings where a group of teachers and faculty would assemble and discuss her status. They would propose goals for Kennady and discuss their plans to help her accomplish the goals.  These meeting would always wreck us emotionally.  It blew our minds to have these professionals speak such hope and positivity into Kennady.

One of our favorite parts of school was Kennady’s interaction with other, “normal” kids.  Throughout the years, she would be mainlined with PE, band, or other classes.  For several years, she had peers assigned to help her in class.  It was a buddy system where they would help her interact with the class content or they would wheel her around the halls.  One year in elementary, we (the parents) wept as we saw a group of “normal” girls push Kennady’s wheelchair during a field day relay race.  They bounced down the grassy track, laughing all the way.  Kennady was laughing the most.  It was an incredible feeling to have others love and accept our daughter without reservation.

Kennady Steele graduates!

To be honest, there were many times when we wrestled with her being in school.  Is it worth it?  Is she taking up the spot of someone else that needs to be there more?  It takes so much work to get her ready, on the bus, and through the day.  She often slept in school.  In fact, one year at the ARD, one of the teacher’s goals was for her to stay awake during class.  Ha! I think she accomplished that one!

Now, we look back on 15 years and think about all the people that interacted with Kennady.  Hundreds of people talked with her, helped her, walked with her, listened to her.  What kind of impact has she made on them? How will their lives be different because of Kennady’s still, calm presence?  Kennady never made fun of people at school. She never judged anyone or intentionally made anyone feel left behind.  Quite the opposite is the case. Kennady makes people feel important and valuable.  This past Sunday, we honored all the high school graduates at our church.  We listed everyone’s accomplishments at school, stuff they were involved in, and their future plans. Here is what we stated for Kennady’s future:

Kennady’s future plans are to continue inspiring people with her quiet and steady presence…. Pointing people to Jesus’ love and acceptance no matter what you are able to accomplish.
Seems like a worthwhile goal.
3 Ways to Beat Fear with Faith

3 Ways to Beat Fear with Faith

We have to find ways to beat fear with faith.  We suffer greatly when don’t.  During this COVID 19 season we are all bombarded with reasons to be afraid.  Tens of thousands of people have died.  We may not have enough hospital beds or ventilators.  Your job has been terminated.  You can’t meet up with friends at your favorite restaurant.  We were out of toilet paper for weeks.

Every single news story for over 6 weeks has been depressing.  Probably the worst part of this is that the news outlets refuse to give any silver lining to their reporting.  Even stories that pop up about a possible medicine are quickly quieted.

In reality, it has been tough.  Many people have suffered.

The other day someone asked me (Robin), “How are you and Erica moving forward in this season having a daughter with such profound special needs and vulnerability?”   I quickly said, “We are moving forward like we have for the last 18 years.”

It hasn’t always been easy.

Right after birth, the doctors told us that Kennady would not live a long life. In fact, we were told to “take her home and enjoy her” while we waited for her to die (in the next 6-12 months).  So, we did.  We went home and expected for her to die.  The biggest threats to her health are seizures, shunt malfunction, and flu/pneumonia.

For the first several years, we were quite concerned during the flu season.  One time when she was around 2 years old, she aspirated, developed pneumonia, and went into the ICU for well over a week.  We thought it was the end.  We were preparing ourselves mentally for the day when she died.  However, when Kennady was around 4 years old something shifted inside me.  I realized that I was postured for the negative.  I was praying for God to heal and change Kennady.  I wanted to avoid death and for the risk to go away.  One day while I was praying,  I clearly heard from God.  I was praying for her to change so much that I was not loving her for…. her…. for WHO she was.  I was unable to love her only as my daughter because I was so focused on her changing and being shielded from death.

From that point, I started living life like she was going to live instead die.  I started shifting my expectations of her being “normal” and decided to love her the way she was.  To use a sporting analogy, I shifted from playing only defense to playing offense.

I get the sense that most Americans are in a defensive posture right now.  We are hunkered down in fear.  We are afraid for our health, our family and friends, our economy, our schooling, our celebrations, our entertainment… the list goes on and on.

How do we shift from fear to faith?

  •  Make a Decision – When Erica and I made the shift in our family years back, we made a statement that has guided us through every season:  “We are not going to let Kennady’s condition define her or our family.”   We had seen many special needs families stuck at home.  They were either afraid to go out or just too tired.  We were going to: go to church, out to eat, send Kennady to school, and go on vacations.  Our decision set a course for us.  It pushed us when we felt weak.  However, to be clear, our decision was not about us being strong.  On the contrary, it was a declaration that God defines us (not our circumstances or abilities).  This decision forced us to continually look to God… to lean on his understanding and ways.

 

  • Be Wise – When it came to Kennady getting sick with the flu or other virus, we were going to be extremely conscious of the danger and risk.  We would be strict about washing our hands, not going around people who were sick, not going around Kennady if we were sick (we would take shifts).  I can’t remember the last time I touched a restroom door handle.  It never happens. We have carried hand cleaner around in our bags, purses, cars.  I shake hands with hundreds of people on Sunday mornings.  When I go back to my seat, I use hand cleaner to keep my hands free of junk.   We started building lifestyle habits that kept us as safe as possible.  When Jesus sent his disciples out into the danger of political pressure, violence, leprosy, and many other threats, he told them to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.  (Matthew 10:16).  We have to understand that the mission doesn’t stop when we face challenge, but we reevaluate HOW we go about it.

 

  • Understand God’s Sovereignty and Control
    – When you surrender to the power and plan of God, it takes so much pressure off of you.  As I said above, we do have some responsibility in life.  We have decisions to make.  However, that is only a small part of how things work.  This is God’s earth. He is the one that started it, had a plan for it, redeemed it, and will bring a FULL resolution someday where there will no more suffering or pain.  What we have learned with Kennady is that if it is not your time to die… you are not going to die.  If it is your time… it is your time.  I see this same principle played out in my grandmother who is 101 years old. She is currently sequestered in her nursing home with no visitors allowed.  She has lived through the roaring 20s, the great depression, the invention of indoor plumbing, television, World War II, Holocaust, Vietnam War, Kennady assassination, 9/11, the corona virus…over 10 years ago she had a debilitating stroke and has been restricted to a wheelchair… yet… she keeps ticking!  I went by her room on Friday and talked to her on the phone while looking at her through the window.   She was happy.  She only wants to see people….

Living with FAITH means releasing ourselves to God’s power and plan.  This brings us into wholeness.  We stop looking to CNN for good news and find rest in God’s ability to take something broken and make it GOOD.  We find PEACE in God’s love for us.  We know that we can keep living life, moving forward and not cowering in fear. This is wholeness.

Living in fear is living in brokenness. Living in FAITH is living life WHOLE.

Here are questions for you to ponder:

  1. What kind of decision do you need to make right now?
  2. How can you be wise with the threats, but still live your life?
  3. Where do you face the most fear? How does the truth of God address that specific scenario?

 

What People are Saying…

What People are Saying…

I (Robin) will never forget the moment that I stood in a Cuba house-church and listened to a young father tell me, “This message has changed my life.”  There were around 40 people packed into a warm home on a Sunday evening in Havana.  It was my first time to ever speak in Cuba. I was tired.  We had just landed in the country less than a day before. We were rushed around from place to place.

As a pastor, I can get caught up in numbers.  We always want to speak to thousands.  However, this trip was completely different.  Because of Cuba’s government restrictions, churches are small.  In fact, the vast majorities are in homes.  As I spoke that night, I told the incredible story of God working in my daughter’s story… how her story intersects mine… and others.  About halfway through the message, I was overcome with emotion.  I literally thought, Kennady is speaking all over the world.

Near the end of the message, I was in tears.  The interpreter was in tears.  God moved in that home.  Several came to talk with me after, but the young father really stood out.  The next morning he was going to court for a custody battle over his daughter.  He told me that the story of my daughter made him realize that God was in control and there was no need for him to fear.  Check out this post to hear the full story on what else happened in Cuba. My book is based on the message I told that father.

As I have wrapped up the publishing process, I have reached out to friends and connections for their take on the message.  Check out what they are saying!

This book speaks to all of God’s people. This positive message is about overcoming challenges that life presents you and not allowing circumstances to dictate your future. Kennady’s story is an inspiration, led by the God-given love and acceptance of two wonderful people—Robin and Erica. Enjoy, be amazed, but most of all hear the love that our God has for us all.
Dennis Franchione, former head football coach at Alabama and Texas A&M Universities

 

Robin shares an incredibly hopeful and inspiring message that points us all to Christ and reminds us that He knows what is best for each of us, even when things don’t go as we expect them to. Robin has continuously brought us to tears and moved our hearts through his family’s story. You will be amazed, inspired, and encouraged.
Claire Culwell, International speaker and author, twin abortion survivor

 

In this book, Robin masterfully illustrates that what God says about us far outweighs what anyone else may think about us. The revelation that God has given Robin in this book is truly incredible. You’ll begin to feel the power in it the minute you begin to read his story. Thank you, Robin, for sharing your family’s story with the world. I’m better because of it!
Jeremy Foster, lead pastor of Hope City

 

In this inspiring book, Robin shares how God’s Word has come alive through the arrival of their firstborn daughter, Kennady. As you face difficult challenges in life, this is a resource you will reference again and again. Prepare to be greatly encouraged!
Joseph Sangl, founder of I Was Broke, Now I’m Not,  CEO of INJOY Stewardship Solutions

 

How to Be Made Whole tells the story we all want and need to hear—that our lives can matter regardless of what we face, or what we feel unable to achieve. Robin, Erica, and Kennady are heroes to our family. Their story is contagious and resounds with God’s love and affirmation. You will be inspired and equipped to live a meaningful life.  —John Ragsdale, senior pastor of The Hills Nashville

 

At first glance, this is a book about Kennady Steele and her story of God’s grace and meaning for her life.  But as you read this book, you’ll discover it’s far more than just her story—it’s ours as well.  How do you begin to process being told your daughter may not have a meaningful life, nor be normal?  What does it mean to have a purpose-filled life, and how do you embrace the challenges that come your way?  Her story is our story—a journey of God’s work in all of our lives.  And what we learn is that a meaningful life is not about what we know, nor is it what we do – it is about WHO we are in the eyes of our Lord.  May this book speak to you as you hear God whisper in your ear His love and affirmation of you.    —Tom Thomson, senior vice president of World Help

 

There is no greater, life changing truth than to know that God not only sees us deeply but loves us unconditionally. The hope we find in this book reminds us that the moments of our greatest pain can be redeemed and used for our good and God’s glory!
Tauren Wells, Grammy nominated, Sony Music Recording Artist

 

Getting your big “ask” out of the way

Getting your big “ask” out of the way

Today marks 15 days that we have been here in the hospital.  I (Erica) honestly could not have imagined that we would be here this long.  I have also realized that it is rare that you have any idea how long an unexpected trip to the hospital will last.  There is still no clear escape plan, but I am preparing my Jedi mind tricks to use on the doctors.  Be looking for a post about going home soon, poop or no poop!

It seems like the longer we are here, the more I find myself riding the emotional rollercoaster of feeling encouraged, then plummeting to discouragement.  

I have had so many thoughts, but not put a single one down on paper.  

The fresh winds of hope have come over the past couple of weeks, followed by thick waves of discouragement.  

This past Wednesday I had come home after being relieved by my precious mother-in-law.  I had been up at the hospital for two days and was exhausted.  When I got home we had to deal with some other family issues, which was honestly the last thing we needed.  I had a meltdown and was just feeling like it was all too much.  Robin and I dropped the boys off at youth that evening and went to dinner, then Robin left to go up to the hospital.  He traded out with his mom and stayed the night.

As I was getting ready for bed, I just wanted to lay down and sleep, I was exhausted and the tears were overflowing.  

On this journey it is hard to let go and let others in.  Not because people haven’t offered, but because as mama and poppa, we want to know what’s going on with our girl and make sure that we keep her on the fastest track to breaking free of the hospital.

In my moment of tears and overwhelm, I felt God speak to my heart and say “you need to let people help you.  Especially ones that you love and trust”.  

I slept well that night, and woke up feeling less overwhelmed and ready to reach out for help.  

I texted Robin’s cousin Krystal, who had offered the week before to come and stay for an evening or overnight, if we would allow her to.  

Honestly, in that moment she offered, I genuinely appreciated it, but knew that it would be hard for me to let go and allow someone in to help. The ask is always so big.

I texted her Thursday morning and asked if she would be available to stay with Kennady that evening, or overnight.  She replied “Absolutely!  Is it overnight?  Or just the evening?”  

(Note here::  This is an amazing reply!  It is what everyone wants when they are asking for help.

Robin stayed until Krystal arrived that evening (when she brought a whole house full of barbecue from Holy Smokes for us – D-lish).  

Robin called to say that he had given her the rundown and was headed home.  

I had been doing a few things with the boys and finally sat down at our kitchen table to look at social media.

I could not have been prepared for the picture I saw when I opened IG. 
The relief, the heartache that was buried deep, the gratefulness, the joy, the peace, it all came flooding in.  I literally started sobbing and laid my phone down.  

The gratefulness that I could rest.  The absolute joy that my girl was with someone that wasn’t afraid of her differences, but loved her and celebrated her.  My heart felt like it would burst.  

It also spoke to a deep grief that I had worked through years ago.  The grief that my daughter was not able to participate in sleepovers or family cousin events.  When I saw the words “she and I are both pretty excited to announce our first “Kennady sleepover”.  Sheesh.

My girl, bing included and loved!!   It still brings tears to my eyes.  

What an unexpected gift in such a big way.  My heart was so filled.  I am so thankful God so gently spoke to my heart. I am thankful I got my ask out of the way. I am thankful for the wonderful gift of support and love our family has given us.