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Get to know us.  The messy, funny, faithful Steele Family!  From marriage, kids, faith in God, difficult diagnoses, severe food allergies, pastoring a church, trying to live healthy,  the list goes on and on.

Choice is a Person

We were approached by Steve Slate (incredible photographer from the San Antonio area) to participate in his photo project called, “Choice is a Person”.  Eventually, he will publish this work in a book.  He is showing the faces of people affected by birth choice.

In the meantime, he is posting on his blog.  Check it out here.  You can get a sample below.

When I read about Robin’s story I was just taken back at the adversity he and his wife faced.  Knowing that your first child will not be perfect, like you expect, has to be disheartening.  However, Robin and his wife were tightly connected to family and their church.  That support group, along with their faith, was paramount in helping them solidify their decision in choosing life.  Having a doctor tell you that you can go to Kansas and have a late-term abortion had to be demoralizing.  But Robin didn’t allow that to define him.  After deciding to carry Kennady to term and accept whatever God has for them, they experienced a life-changing event that continues on to this day.  Their daughter might not be exactly like most children, but what she gives cannot be measured.  One of the turning points in Robin’s story was when the doctor literally wrote on Kennady’s records, “THE PARENTS UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NO CHANCE OF THEIR DAUGHTER HAVING A MEANINGFUL LIFE”.  He was floored.  He was angry.  This was a defining moment.  Instead of blaming God, or running away from Him, or blaming others, Robin went to God with it.  He pressed into Him.  And that’s when the reality hit home.  God is the only One that assigns MEANING in Life.  Sure people play a role, but it is only God that gives things true meaning.  This affected him so intensely, that he eventually wrote a book about it.  Check it out here.

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The reason why I chose Robin to participate in my project is because he chose life for his daughter.  He didn’t give in to the pressures of society.  He wasn’t going to take the easy road out.  He knew he might not have the strength and endurance to be able to perfectly raise a special needs daughter, but he chose to face it head on.  He refused to listen to the arguments for abortion, like some many people today do.  People actually have abortions for sex selection purposes, birth defects, down syndrome, genetic disorders, and many others to name a few.  The problem with this type of thinking is, WE ARE NOT GOD.  We were never meant to play God either.  There are so many stories about parents being told to abort because the doctor has discovered something abnormal about the baby, and option #1 to solve it is to abort.  The fear of malpractice lawsuits have prompted this trend.  And unfortunately it has become widely accepted and influenced the medical community immensely.  The baby is never the problem.  Robin knew this, and his beautiful daughter Kennady is living proof.  When I met her, she was quiet, but when she heard music she started to liven up, an occasional smile here and there.  When Robin started talking to her, whispering close to her face where she could hear and feel the air of his “daddy words” and feel his lips gently brush up against her forehead with a kiss, she lit up with smiles and sounds of pure joy.

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There was a connection between Kennady and her father, one that words can’t describe.  It was like witnessing love entering a room, becoming tangible.  Like two kindred spirits dancing in tune with every beat.  What I witnessed that day will never be forgotten.

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Robin told me that the condition Kennady has normally limits the life span to about two years.  She’s 19 years old now.  There are only a few people older than her (in the world) with her condition that are still living.  She’s a living miracle.  Why did God choose to give Kennady to Robin as a daughter?  I can’t fully answer that question, but I can say his life wouldn’t be as meaningful without her.  The doctor was right about one thing during those early days in the hospital about a meaningful life, he left God out of the statement.  Without God, life is meaningless, but with God all things are possible.  Robin is a man of integrity, determination, and a heart that’s too big to ever be full. He pastors a church now, and his success is partly due to the lessens he has been taught by his daughter.  When you trust God, and not play Him, He expands the capacity to love beyond the limits of our hearts.  Robin chose life.  He accepted his role in this story, and God rewarded him with a special needs daughter that has given him more love than most of us could ever comprehend.  Real life isn’t easy, but when we choose to honor God in it, He will honor us in return.  Robin Steele is living proof of this TRUTH.

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Here’s a series of questions I asked him with his answers. For those of you who have questioned yourself about having a special needs child, this man’s testimony may give you insight into your own heart. May Robin’s story be a blessing to you. For more on Robin Steele, father of a special needs daughter, pastor of Promised Land San Marcos church, and author of “How to Be Made Whole”, you can visit his web sites here, www.mademeaningful.com or pastorrobin.com.

When your daughter was diagnosed, what options were you given by the doctor?

We were given the option for abortion (traveling to Kansas for a 30 late term abortion) or continue the pregnancy with a specialist.

Where did you find strength to get through the rough parts of your journey?

Our strength was from God and our church family.  Both of these were crucial to sustain the brutal news that our baby would not be normal.

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If you could go back and change one thing about your life, what might that be?

I would have slowed down and enjoyed the early years more instead of trying to move forward so fast.

What would you say is the biggest misconception people have about raising a special needs child?

People think that raising a special needs kid is all bad.  Nothing is further from the truth. Our daughter blesses us everyday with miracles that we would never have had without her. These outweigh the negative.

What would your advice be for anyone facing a complicated pregnancy in which the baby has been diagnosed with some abnormality in which the medical staff paints a grim outlook?

I recommend people diving into a church family with everything they have.  Be vulnerable. Ask for help.

What has your daughter taught you most about life?

My daughter has taught us that only God determines our value and meaning.  Doctors, parents, friends, and others all play a role, but only the creator can give value.

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If there is one truth about “valuing life” that you could speak into the lives of all people, what would that truth be?

If we trust God with our value, then we know that he has a plan that we can’t explain or predict. We need to let go of control and let him lead the way.

HOW CAN A MARRIAGE WORK WITH A SPECIAL NEEDS KID?

We were asked to write an article for “One Extraordinary Marriage” and their March issue of The Position Post.  Their ministry is incredible and broaches a topic that many in Christianity shy away from. Go check them out.  They asked us to write on how couples can thrive in the midst of troubling situations (like special needs kids).  Here you go!

 

The idea of marriage seems impossible.  Two humans living together, sharing all the good and bad, helping each other, liking each other…until they die…WOW! How in the world is that possible?  Now, throw in a child that is unable to care for themselves and requires 24 hour attention…for the rest of her life.  This is how my wife and I started the early years of our marriage 22 years ago.  Our daughter, Kennady, was diagnosed with Alobar Holoprosencephaly which meant that her brain was severely misshapen, and the prognosis was devastating. She would be unable to walk, talk, use her arms or hands, and there was no cure.  We got this message from the brain surgeon in a small, dark room next to the neonatal intensive care unit. As we left the room, the darkness followed us.  How would we make it?

As we launch into 2021, I’m happy to say that our marriage is stronger than ever.  Our daughter is now 19 and we have two sons, now 16 and 14 years old. Over the years, four simple things have built our relationship in the midst of such challenge.

  • Trust God – Since God is the creator and designer of your family, He is the sole authority on the value and health of your family.   People try all sorts of ideas, strategy, philosophy on how to have a fulfilled family, but there is really only one way to move towards your best family:  Allow God to have his way.  Model your family after His plan!     “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” Psalm 127:1 When things are not going the way you want them to, trust that God is still in charge of building your house.
  • Make a Stand – When we first started connecting with special needs families, it was depressing! Not because of the kids’ situations, but because the parents were in such a funk.  In the first few months of our daughter’s life, we made a statement that has guided us through every season:  “We are not going to let Kennady’s condition define her or our family.”   We had seen many special needs families stuck at home.  They were either afraid to go out or just too tired.  We decided that we would: go to church, out to eat, send Kennady to school, and go on vacations.  This decision forced us to continually look to God… to lean on his understanding and ways.
  • Invest in Others – When my wife gave birth, there were 50 people sitting in the hospital waiting room.  From that moment until this day, we have been surrounded by people willing and ready to help us. They were not all family. They were not there because we were famous or because we were the pastor (we weren’t pastoring a church then).  They were all there, and have stayed there, because of years of investing in each other.  This takes intentionality and hard work.  It also means having the courage and taking a risk to ask for help.  This means sacrificing for others.  There is no way we could have raised our family on our own.
  • Take Time to Get Away – I saved this for last, because it absolutely won’t work without the other three happening first.  Couples must take time for themselves to rest and recharge.  We asked people to watch our kids while we went on a weekly date night.  We spent months saving money and lining up help to watch our daughter so that we could take a vacation by ourselves or with our two sons.  We trusted that God would take care of our family when we were gone.

When our kids have special needs, that does not assign our marriages to eternal darkness or death.  In fact, we have seen the opposite. In the areas where we have lost control, God shines the brightest.

How to get through COVID19

The majority of Americans were either so mad or so afraid during the early stages of COVID19 that their time at home was spent… worrying.  We stewed and grumbled.  We complained about the government.  Many of us (church leaders) were concerned that our church finances would be ruined and that no one would come back from the forced break.  Now, as many churches are reopening, we are finding out that… people are coming back and the church finances are going to be alright.  The people that are dealing with illness or setbacks are seeing that God is in the midst of that as well.  We are going to be ok.  We are going to make it.

I believe that many people will look back at their time during the COVID19 quarantine and say something like, If I had known that things would turn out well, I would have enjoyed my time stuck at home.”  In essence, many Americans have had weeks of free time that we haven’t seen since our childhood.  However, the time at home didn’t feel like a vacation.  Instead, it felt like a prison.  So many of us were unable to enjoy the time at home because our minds were trapped in the suspense of the unknown.

How do we drift so far from the assurance of God’s provision?  Why do we spend so much of our emotional energy struggling?  It is bizarre that we can have so much knowledge of God in our head and yet, our heart feels something different.  Seriously, most of our minds are filled with facts about God.  Theoretically, we should not feel this way.  There seems to be a disconnect.

In my household, we have one of the most vulnerable people around.  My daughter is severely mentally and physically disabled.  In the womb, her brain did not form correctly, and as a result, the doctors gave her just months to live.  They predicted that  she would die from the flu or pneumonia within a year.  For the first 5 or 6 years, we entered into flu season thinking, “Is this the year.”  She has defied the odds and lived for 18 years.  However, her life is extremely different from you and me.  She is unable to use any of her limbs, she can’t speak, she can’t eat by mouth, and she requires 24 hour assistance.

We lived in that cloud of unknown for so long.  It was exhausting.  Constantly trying to move forward in life without know what that might look like was draining.  These scenarios were not only challenging to suffer through from a practical standpoint, but a continual barrage over the years reinforced a loud message that we were not going to make it. They figuratively said things to us like, “You have no future. You cannot sustain this. You will run out of money. No one understands you. No one has the capacity to be your friend. You need to give up.”

As the world goes through 2020, negative messages bombard us. If we listen to them unprepared, we will be swept away on a journey far from home. We will travel from wholeness to a land of bitter, angry, lost, loneliness, and incompleteness. Most people live in this spot separated from the truth of God. As a result, we try to find our way back to peace in any way possible. Humans spend billions of dollars to get our minds off the mess. We try anything we can to distract ourselves, change our surroundings, or buy our way out of it.  In 2020, alcoholism, drug use, suicides have all sky-rocketed.

The only thing that genuinely led Erica and I back home was hearing our Father’s voice. I love what Augustine of Hippo said, “The Holy Scriptures are our letters from home.” The voice of our Father speaks truth amidst the chorus of confusing voices. In my darkest hours, the only thing that has assured my peace has been the truth of God’s voice. Hearing His voice and finding ways to center our lifestyle around it preserves the state of our hearts and minds.

When Jesus walked through desert times (literally a desert). He was tempted by the devil to believe that he was not whole. The only thing that Jesus used to combat the voice of the devil was the voice of his Father! Jesus said something amazing about pursing voices of the earth versus the words of his Father: “People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4 NLT). Basically, Jesus was saying, “Don’t rely on what people say around you. Don’t even rely on what this world can provide for you (even if you like the taste). Instead, your heavenly Father’s words are continuing to come towards you. Live off of those.”

This is a beautiful way to live. Jesus was anchored in peace because he chose to listen to the truth from his heavenly Father instead of the words and facts shouting at him. You could make a case that Jesus knew the words of God because he was God himself. However, when Jesus addresses the devil, he uses the words of the Hebrew Bible. Word for word, Jesus quotes the Bible when confronted with the option to believe a lie. This example teaches us that God’s Word is like a fountain that continually flows; it is relevant and personal. We can both hear it and read it in the Bible. We all know that we can learn a lot from literature. However, few believe that books can literally speak to you in the moment. The Bible offers just that.

When COVID19 started, Erica and I were ready.  We have had such bulletproof faith about our family’s health.  It was almost like we had been through a pandemic boot camp with our daughter.  Our experience with her and how it drove us to the voice of God gave us assurance that He was in control.  No matter what is going on around us (or even in our own home), we can trust that God is speaking and that is all that matters.

Portions of this article are taken from Robin’s new book: How To Be Made Whole which chronicles the profound message of God’s acceptance and control of our lives.

Article in Christian Parenting Magazine!

Check out our article in Christian Parenting Magazine!

Written by: Robin Steele  |  Published on Nov. 27, 2020

Just before my first child was born, I was driving down the road and thinking, I wonder what it would be like if my child were mentally disabled. Nah, that would never happen to me. That is like winning the “bad” lottery. 

I immediately shelved that thought and said a little prayer like, “Lord, thanks that I don’t have to go through things like that.” All my life, I had seen the provision of God.

Two months later, my daughter, Kennady, was born with alobar holoprosencephaly and a prognosis of living six to twelve months.

An MRI revealed that her brain was so deformed that doctors were not sure what parts were there and what parts were missing. My wife and I were stunned.

I remember walking out into the hallway and leaning up against the wall. My head fell back; I squeezed my eyes shut. My father walked up to me and stood by my side.

After a moment, I collected my thoughts and said, “Two things really bother me. First, this is not Kennady’s fault; she had no option. She was just being herself and being born, yet this has happened to her!

“The second thing is that society will not value her as a normal person. They won’t see that her soul and spirit are just as real and as normal as theirs. Most people will not take the time to look beyond the abnormal outer shell and see the innocent girl underneath. They will see a severely deformed young girl and immediately, subconsciously devalue her. That is not fair for her.”

It only took a few days for that to start happening.

Who defines meaning?

I was visiting with Kennady by her crib in the NICU. At the foot of the bed was a clipboard of doctor notes. In the doctor’s hand, it read, “The parents understand that there is no chance of their daughter having a meaningful life.”

The bang of those words rang in my mind like a gavel strike.

Judgment passed over my daughter’s entire life with a short yet sweeping sentence. I was utterly crushed and, seconds later, angry.

I was furious.

The doctor was not trying to be cruel. However, his wording on the report vividly revealed our human condition. We judge each other’s meaning based on what we can produce or achieve.

My wife and I often wondered what our daughter would have to accomplish before the doctor would deem her “meaningful.”

  • If she could walk, would she cross the threshold of meaning?
  • If she were able to form words or write sentences, would she be meaningful?
  • Would she have a high market value if she were able to go to college or get married?

For years, we were forced to explore where meaning comes from, who defines it, and how it is officially proclaimed.

We took her home from the hospital on January 5, 2002, with the words, “Take her home and enjoy her while you can.”

Well, we have been “enjoying” her for the last eighteen years!

Where do you find your joy?

Kennady has defeated all the doctors’ prognoses of life expectancy. However, she lives with profound special needs.

She is unable to walk or use her hands. She is nonverbal and unable to eat by mouth. She basically requires twenty-four-hour nursing care. We administer around ten to twelve medications every day. Kennady’s flexibility is getting much tighter, which makes moving, showering, and changing clothes a big challenge.

From the surface of her life, she seems quite broken.

At the same time, anyone who gets around Kennady can definitively say that she is meaningful. Deep down below the surface of her life, she is whole. That wholeness bursts forth with every smile and giggle. She lights up the room when she hears your voice (or when we turn on her favorite rap music).

Her joy does not rely on people’s approval. Kennady has never performed to earn our acceptance.

She rests in her identity.

“The way she is”

I always thought I would discover God’s power when he healed our daughter from her physical condition. It made sense that, if he healed her brain and she started acting like us, we would really see his awesome nature on display.

However, the opposite has been the case.

For years, I prayed for her to be healed. I prayed so much that I was exhausted. At one point, I clearly heard God speak to me, “I love Kennady the way she is. Regardless of what she is able to do.”

Once I heard this message, my perspective completely changed.

I realized that I had wanted her to change so much that I had not loved her for who she was. The truth was contagious.

If God loved her before she did anything, then he loved me before I did anything.

Her meaning in life was not predicated on her ability to perform. Instead, her meaning solely rested in what God said about her.

How to raise children with meaningful lives

We now have two more kids. They are normal teenage boys with no significant disabilities. The biggest risk we have is that they will start relying on their own abilities and listening to the world’s message. If so, they will drift from the Father’s clear and distinct words of meaning and value. They could become addicted to their own ways of acceptance and approval.

Our main role as parents is to keep… See the rest by clicking here!

“How To Be Made Whole” is Officially Released!

We are excited to let you know that “How To Be Made Whole” is officially released!  You can get it on Amazon (click here) OR our website (click here).

We would love for you to share this with anyone that you know need Good News!  We are thrilled that thousands of people will get to hear the Gospel through the life of our daughter.  Who would have ever thought this was possible 18 years ago??!!  We were facing a tremendous impossibility for her to simply live (much less preach all over the world).    While in Cuba several years back, I was listening to a young man thank me over and over for sharing her story. I distinctly remember God whispering to me over his shoulder, “Kennady is speaking all over the world.”   The message keeps going out!  We are loved and accepted by God… right now!  (before we get it all together)

Once you read the book, it will be very helpful for you to rate and/review on Amazon or other online stores.

Have you checked out our podcast yet?  Erica and I have posted six episodes already on a variety of helpful topics.  It’s a raw and real conversation with no script!  It gets quite funny at times.  We hope people are encouraged and entertained. 🙂 You can search for the Made Meaningful podcast anywhere you get podcasts or click here!

We love you guys so much! Thanks for being our family.  We find so much strength from you.

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Robin (and Erica and Kennady)

How To Be Made Whole – Foreword

I was completely honored when Randy Phillips agreed to write a foreword for my book.  Of course, I have known Pastor Randy all of my life, and I currently work with him and his network of churches.  For years,  I have been amazed at his ability to craft a phrase, sentence, sermon, song…anything with words.

Here is what Randy Phillips had to say about this journey:

FOREWORD

Many of us believe that life is formulaic. Especially, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ. In other words, if I accept Jesus Christ into my life and live righteously according to Biblical principles, I will live a life unscathed. Untouched by tragedy. Robin and Erica Steele would fit that assumption perfectly. They grew up in my church. Full of integrity and love for God. They came from amazing parents who helped start our church, fund the church, and brought many lost souls to grow the church. Robin and Erica perfectly fit the life that we would want everyone to have. He became our student pastor, then our children’s pastor and, ultimately, they became lead pastors of a thriving church in San Marcos. Perfect life. All the boxes were checked…and then.

Everybody gets an “and then.” The email, the phone call, the summons to the doctor’s office, the boss asks you to step into his office.

I will never forget getting a call from Robin Steele to inform me his daughter had been born. His tone was measured and mature—very unusual for such exciting news. On the other hand, I was over the moon for Robin and Erica—their first precious baby was here. I was a bit taken aback by Robin’s tone in light of this amazing event so I asked the question, “Is everything ok?” In the same mature, matter-of-fact tone, Robin’s answer broke my heart. Denise and I immediately drove to the hospital. Amid the tears and the hugs was the presence of the Holy Spirit. Peace that passes all understanding.   If God ever entrusted a couple with a special gift, he found the right ones. We have watched how Robin and Erica have walked this road with grace given by God to encourage others who have experienced pain.

Robin Steele’s HOW TO BE MADE WHOLE touched my heart and changed my mind. I could not put the book down. All of us are desperate for wholeness. With practical steps and storytelling that will touch your soul, you will thank yourself for reading and absorbing the testimony of Robin and Erica Steele.

I’m so proud of Robin and Erica, their flourishing church, their friendships and their impeccable character.

Randy Phillips, lead pastor of Life.Family,
f
ounder of PHILLIPS CRAIG & DEAN

 

 

 

The Most Important Thing to Look at Right Now

 

By: Erica Steele

I love movie analogies. I am such a hands on, visual learner. I have always loved the Never Ending Story. It was one of my childhood favorites, right up there with PeeWee’s Big Adventure and The Princess Bride. Movies and music speak to us in such poignant ways that words can sometimes jumble up.

This moment (I hope you watched that clip above) in The Never Ending Story really jumped out at me today. This season we are in has been difficult all around. The country, world, community, it all feels really big and overwhelming.

In the midst of all of this, we have had some personal things that have been challenging. People acting in ways that have been hurtful, or saying things that have been hard to hear.

I am, by design, (and by enneagram assessment 😜) a person who wants (and needs) resolution. I’m not a faker and I can’t just pretend everything is “ok” if it isn’t. There are exceptions to this, as with anything. For example, if I have tried to make some sort of attempt at a resolution and it is rejected…game over. I can set a firm boundary in my heart and mind and move on (mostly, unless they want to be friends 😂)

During this season I was reminded of a time when I was confronted with my behavior, attitude, and how I was harmful with the way I communicated. My “mirror gate” moment.

It was crushing to me. I spent a lot of time beating myself up and wondering why anyone would want to be my friend or know me for that matter (seriously, those were my very thoughts. Not just being self deprecating here). I turned inward and prayed about it. I asked God to help me see the ugly side of myself and help make me better because it was clearly out of my grasp. I didn’t want to walk around harming people! It was a life changing moment.

God used that hurtful time (words that were honestly spoken out of retaliation) to bring awareness to my ugly side. Let me be clear here, it was a moment of awareness and healing, but certainly didn’t bring about perfection. I still have a tendency to be too harsh with my words and emotions. In that moment, someone held a mirror before me and I saw my anger, hurtful ways, and selfishness. In this season of dealing with tough things and people being self absorbed and hateful, It really brought my thoughts back around to this question.

Have you ever held the mirror for someone?

If you have, I feel pretty sure they felt like screaming and running away in that moment. Ok, maybe that person doesn’t end up running away screaming, but after that they definitely leave you on “read”. Not calling anymore. Faking a “hey it’s so good to see you!…😒”. Seriously, I have been the one left on “read”. We have been dealing with some really tough things. Things that have left me feeling the need to hold up the mirror in front of someone and say “do you see what I see? Do you know your behavior is hurting others?”

What if you are the mirror?

What’s it like when you tell someone their behavior is hurtful and have them walk away and have a finger pointing back at you? (Maybe even one very specific finger).

It cuts deep. It makes your heart hurt.  When we speak truth to a situation, we always hope that it will be happy rainbows and unicorn fluff in the end! Hoping that person(s) will wake up and actually see themselves.

However sometimes people don’t want resolution. They definitely didn’t want to see where they are not being honest, hurting someone, or being selfish.

I really really REALLY want resolution in relationships. Really. It tears me up to feel rejected and not have things made right. I have had to learn to pray and ask God to take the situation and bring healing. Help me to let go of things and not “have to” make them right. That is simply where I find rest. No one can force another person to see their point of view. I don’t have control over how others respond, but I can control where my I allow my hope to rest.

My hope is in Christ alone.

That is where I find rest and healing when I am staring at all my brokenness in a mirror, or when I have held the mirror and seen someone run the other way. God is such a faithful friend. He doesn’t leave us broken and hopeless, but gently leads us toward him and shapes us in His image. What better gift for someone who is so broken, than for a loving Savior to rescue them and offer hope regardless of the situation. If we seek God together, he is faithful to make all things right.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭27:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 

“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:23-24‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Words Hurt. The Word Heals.

“Well, she didn’t really ‘graduate’,” he replied with a smirk.

That was the phrase that brought our graduation celebration to an abrupt halt. Literally, brought us to tears and anger. It came from a close family member while telling him about Kennady’s latest miracle of going through 15 years of the public school system. Life is hard enough without words (from family members) making it harder. Yes, we know that she didn’t get a 4.0. Yes, we know that she didn’t get first chair in the band. She actually failed at accomplishing many of the goals we set in all of those ARD meetings. What does all of that mean?

The main issue with these words is that they tie directly back to the words of the doctor a few days after Kennady was born. The doctor’s words were, “their daughter will not have a meaningful life.” This recent proclamation was, “she didn’t really graduate.” What this really says is, “Her finishing school doesn’t really matter.” or “She didn’t really do anything.” DUH! Do we really need to hear that? As parents, we are actually experts on every detail of Kennady’s life. We know exactly what she does or does not do.

I’m sure that everyone reading this blog will jump to our defense and say that these statements are harsh. We love that you will support us in this moment. We do benefit from your affirmation.

But… let’s stop for a second and look deeper below the surface…

The doctor should not have used those words right after birth. This family member should not have used these words last week. However, both are a symbol of how humans view what matters. These words show something that we all wrestle with internally. How will I matter? How can my life mean something? What do I actually have to do to have other people say that I matter?   The answer:  It depends on who you ask. The answer is subject to who is answering… who is saying the words.

Who is saying the words? Whose words mean the most?

It is really tough when the words come so fast and so often from people we are supposed to trust (doctors) and respect (family). Yet, we still have a choice. When people’s words anger, sadden, or confuse us, we have to choose if we will receive and believe them. We are faced with the brutal process of fighting through the emotion and finding the truth. Are the words true? Sometimes tough words are true and we must accept them.

However, we often accept lies. We hear them, believe them, and live our life based on them. The only way to pierce that darkness is with a sword. There is a sword available that is super sharp, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.  The sword is THE Word. (Hebrews 4:11-12 NLT)

The only way to combat ugly words is with THE Word. The Bible says that “the Word” has existed from the very beginning, nothing was created except through him. The Word gives LIFE and LIGHT to everything and everyone. The Word brings light in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it. (John 1:1-5 NLT)

The Word that the Bible talks about includes the words of the actual Bible, but The Word is more than that. The Word is Jesus.  Reading and meditating on the words of the Bible introduces us to the author. The Word is eternal and absolute. We can stand on this firm foundation. We hide under him. We can weather the storm with him. If things in this life are troubling and seemingly impossible, his Word will be the final word.

Who do you know that needs The Word today? Not a word that will judge or condemn, but a word that will bring light and life. Let’s pray for them. Let’s listen to them.  Let’s hold them.

Let’s BE THE Word that they need to hear.  Let our words heal.